1
孔子曰：「六藝於治一也。 禮以節人，樂以發和，書以道事，詩以達意，易以神化，春秋以義。」 太史公曰：天道恢恢，豈不大哉！ 談言微中，亦可以解紛。
Confucius said: "The Six Arts all serve a single purpose in governance." "The Rites temper human conduct, Music inspires harmony, the Documents illuminate affairs of state, the Odes give voice to the heart's intent, the Changes reveal the workings of the divine, and the Spring and Autumn Annals uphold righteousness." The Grand Historian remarks: How vast and all-embracing is the Way of Heaven! A well-placed jest, hitting subtly upon the truth, can untangle even the most knotted affairs.
2
淳于髡者，齊之贅婿也。 長不滿七尺，滑稽多辯，數使諸侯，未嘗屈辱。 齊威王之時喜隱，好為淫樂長夜之飲，沈湎不治，委政卿大夫。 百官荒亂，諸侯并侵，國且危亡，在於旦暮，左右莫敢諫。 淳于髡說之以隱曰：「國中有大鳥，止王之庭，三年不蜚又不鳴，不知此鳥何也？」 王曰：「此鳥不飛則已，一飛沖天； 不鳴則已，一鳴驚人。」 於是乃朝諸縣令長七十二人，賞一人，誅一人，奮兵而出。 諸侯振驚，皆還齊侵地。 威行三十六年。 語在田完世家中。
Chunyu Kun was a man of Qi who had married into his wife's family as a live-in son-in-law. He stood less than seven chi tall, yet he was quick-witted and sharp-tongued. Sent on missions to the feudal lords time and again, he never once suffered disgrace. King Wei of Qi delighted in riddles. He gave himself over to pleasure and caroused through the night, sinking into dissipation and neglecting the affairs of state, which he left entirely to his ministers. The court officials descended into chaos, rival lords invaded from every quarter, and the state teetered on the brink of ruin — its fall a matter of days. Yet not one of the king's attendants dared speak a word of remonstrance. Chunyu Kun approached the king with a riddle: "In our kingdom there is a great bird that has roosted in Your Majesty's courtyard for three full years. It neither flies nor sings. What manner of bird might this be?" The king replied: "This bird — if it does not fly, so be it. But once it takes flight, it will soar straight to the heavens." "If it does not sing, so be it. But once it cries out, it will astonish the world." With that, the king summoned his seventy-two county magistrates to court. He rewarded one and put another to death, then roused his armies and marched forth. The feudal lords were shaken with alarm. Every one of them returned the lands they had seized from Qi. His authority held sway for thirty-six years. The full account can be found in the Hereditary House of Lord Tian Wan.
3
威王八年，楚大發兵加齊。 齊王使淳于髡之趙請救兵，齎金百斤，車馬十駟。 淳于髡仰天大笑，冠纓索絕。 王曰：「先生少之乎？」 髡曰：「何敢！」 王曰：「笑豈有說乎？」 髡曰：「今者臣從東方來，見道傍有禳田者，操一豚蹄，酒一盂，祝曰：『甌窶滿篝，汙邪滿車，五穀蕃熟，穰穰滿家。』 臣見其所持者狹而所欲者奢，故笑之。」 於是齊威王乃益齎黃金千溢，白璧十雙，車馬百駟。 髡辭而行，至趙。 趙王與之精兵十萬，革車千乘。 楚聞之，夜引兵而去。
In the eighth year of King Wei's reign, Chu mobilized a massive army and attacked Qi. The King of Qi dispatched Chunyu Kun to Zhao to beg for reinforcements, equipping him with a hundred catties of gold and ten teams of horses with chariots. Chunyu Kun threw back his head and roared with laughter — so hard that the chin-straps of his cap snapped clean through. The king asked: "Does the master find the gifts insufficient?" Kun replied: "I would never dare!" The king pressed: "Then what was the meaning of that laugh?" Kun said: "Just now, as your servant was traveling from the east, I saw a man by the roadside performing a prayer over his fields. He held up a single pig's trotter and a bowl of wine and prayed: 'Let the hilltop baskets overflow! Let the lowland carts be piled high! Let the five grains ripen in plenty, and harvests fill my house!'" "I saw that his offering was paltry but his prayers were grand — and so I could not help but laugh." At this, King Wei increased the gifts tenfold: a thousand yi of gold, ten pairs of white jade discs, and a hundred teams of horses with chariots. Kun took his leave and set out for Zhao. The King of Zhao provided a hundred thousand crack troops and a thousand war chariots. When Chu received word, they pulled back their forces under cover of night.
4
威王大說，置酒後宮，召髡賜之酒。 問曰：「先生能飲幾何而醉？」 對曰：「臣飲一斗亦醉，一石亦醉。」 威王曰：「先生飲一斗而醉，惡能飲一石哉！ 其說可得聞乎？」 髡曰：「賜酒大王之前，執法在傍，御史在後，髡恐懼俯伏而飲，不過一斗徑醉矣。 若親有嚴客，髡帣韝鞠跽，待酒於前，時賜餘瀝，奉觴上壽，數起，飲不過二斗徑醉矣。 若朋友交遊，久不相見，卒然相睹，歡然道故，私情相語，飲可五六斗徑醉矣。 若乃州閭之會，男女雜坐，行酒稽留，六博投壺，相引為曹，握手無罰，目眙不禁，前有墮珥，后有遺簪，髡竊樂此，飲可八斗而醉二參。 日暮酒闌，合尊促坐，男女同席，履舄交錯，杯盤狼藉，堂上燭滅，主人留髡而送客，羅襦襟解，微聞薌澤，當此之時，髡心最歡，能飲一石。 故曰酒極則亂，樂極則悲； 萬事盡然，言不可極，極之而衰。」 以諷諫焉。 齊王曰：「善。」 乃罷長夜之飲，以髡為諸侯主客。 宗室置酒，髡嘗在側。
King Wei was overjoyed. He laid out a feast in the inner palace and summoned Kun to share in the wine. He asked: "How much can the master drink before he gets drunk?" Kun answered: "Your servant gets drunk after a single peck, and also gets drunk after a full bushel." King Wei laughed: "If the master gets drunk after a single peck, how could he possibly drink a whole bushel? Pray explain this to me." Kun said: "When I am granted the honor of drinking before Your Majesty, with the marshal of law at my side and the imperial censor at my back, I drink in fear and trembling, bowing low to the ground — a single peck is enough to make me drunk. When my parents entertain honored guests, I tuck up my sleeves and kneel attentively, pouring wine and waiting upon them. Now and then they bestow the leftover drops, and I raise my cup to toast their health, rising and sitting again and again — two pecks and I am drunk. When old friends who have long been parted meet again by chance, joyfully recounting the past and sharing their inmost thoughts — then I can drink five or six pecks before I am drunk. At a neighborhood gathering where men and women mingle freely, the wine cups circulate without end, and there are games of dice and pitch-pot — people pull one another into little groups, hands clasp without forfeit, bold glances go unchecked, earrings fall unnoticed to the floor and hairpins slip loose behind — this is where Kun secretly revels, and I can drink eight pecks before I am two-thirds gone. As dusk falls and the feast winds down, the wine vessels are pushed together and the seats drawn close. Men and women share the same mat, shoes and slippers tangled on the floor, cups and dishes scattered in disarray. The candles in the hall gutter out. The host keeps Kun behind while seeing the other guests to the door. Silk jackets fall open at the collar, and the faintest trace of perfume drifts through the air. At such a moment, Kun's heart brims with delight — and I can drink a full bushel. And so it is said: when wine goes to excess, chaos follows; when pleasure reaches its height, sorrow awaits. All things under heaven follow this same law — nothing should be pushed to the extreme, for at the extreme comes only decline." With this, he delivered his remonstrance through allegory. The King of Qi said: "Well spoken." He put an end to the all-night carousing and appointed Kun as the master of ceremonies for receiving envoys from the feudal lords. Whenever the royal house held a feast, Kun was always at the king's side.
5
其後百餘年，楚有優孟。
More than a hundred years after this, there arose in Chu a jester called You Meng.
6
優孟，故楚之樂人也。 長八尺，多辯，常以談笑諷諫。 楚莊王之時，有所愛馬，衣以文繡，置之華屋之下，席以露床，啗以棗脯。 馬病肥死，使群臣喪之，欲以棺槨大夫禮葬之。 左右爭之，以為不可。 王下令曰：「有敢以馬諫者，罪至死。」 優孟聞之，入殿門。 仰天大哭。 王驚而問其故。 優孟曰：「馬者王之所愛也，以楚國堂堂之大，何求不得，而以大夫禮葬之，薄，請以人君禮葬之。」 王曰：「何如？」 對曰：「臣請以彫玉為棺，文梓為槨，楩楓豫章為題湊，發甲卒為穿壙，老弱負土，齊趙陪位於前，韓魏翼衛其后，廟食太牢，奉以萬戶之邑。 諸侯聞之，皆知大王賤人而貴馬也。」 王曰：「寡人之過一至此乎！ 為之柰何？」 優孟曰：「請為大王六畜葬之。 以壟灶為槨，銅歷為棺，齎以薑棗，薦以木蘭，祭以糧稻，衣以火光，葬之於人腹腸。」 於是王乃使以馬屬太官，無令天下久聞也。
You Meng had been an entertainer in the service of Chu. He stood eight chi tall, was quick with words, and always delivered his counsel through wit and laughter. King Zhuang of Chu had a horse he doted on. He dressed it in embroidered silks, housed it beneath a splendid canopy, bedded it upon an open couch, and fed it dates and dried meat. The horse grew fat, fell ill, and died. The king commanded his officials to observe mourning for it, and he wished to bury it in a double coffin with the full rites accorded a grandee. The king's attendants objected, insisting that such a thing was improper. The king issued a decree: "Anyone who dares remonstrate with me over the horse shall be put to death." When You Meng heard of this, he strode into the great hall. He threw back his head and wept aloud to the heavens. Startled, the king demanded to know the cause of his grief. You Meng said: "The horse was Your Majesty's beloved. With all the grandeur and might of Chu at your command, what could be beyond your reach? But to bury it with the rites of a mere grandee — that is too paltry by far! I beg that you bury it with the full rites due a sovereign lord." The king asked: "And how would that be done?" He replied: "Let the inner coffin be carved of jade, the outer coffin fashioned from figured catalpa, and the frame built of nanmu, maple, and camphor. Conscript armored troops to dig the grave and the old and frail to carry the earth. Let Qi and Zhao stand in attendance before the tomb, with Han and Wei flanking it in guard. Erect a temple where the Great Sacrifice of ox, sheep, and pig is offered, and grant the horse a fief of ten thousand households." "When the feudal lords hear of this, they will all understand that Your Majesty prizes horses above human beings." The king exclaimed: "Can my folly truly have gone so far! What then should be done?" You Meng said: "I suggest Your Majesty bury it as one buries any beast of the barnyard. Let an earthen stove serve as the outer coffin and a bronze cauldron as the inner one. Season it with ginger and dates, garnish it with magnolia bark, make offerings of grain and rice, dress it in robes of flame — and bury it in the bellies of men." At this, the king had the horse sent to the imperial kitchen, eager that the world should hear no more of the affair.
7
楚相孫叔敖知其賢人也，善待之。 病且死，屬其子曰：「我死，汝必貧困。 若往見優孟，言我孫叔敖之子也。」 居數年，其子窮困負薪，逢優孟，與言曰：「我，孫叔敖子也。 父且死時，屬我貧困往見優孟。」 優孟曰：「若無遠有所之。」 即為孫叔敖衣冠，抵掌談語。 歲餘，像孫叔敖，楚王及左右不能別也。 莊王置酒，優孟前為壽。 莊王大驚，以為孫叔敖復生也，欲以為相。 優孟曰：「請歸與婦計之，三日而為相。」 莊王許之。 三日後，優孟復來。 王曰：「婦言謂何？」 孟曰：「婦言慎無為，楚相不足為也。 如孫叔敖之為楚相，盡忠為廉以治楚，楚王得以霸。 今死，其子無立錐之地，貧困負薪以自飲食。 必如孫叔敖，不如自殺。」 因歌曰：「山居耕田苦，難以得食。 起而為吏，身貪鄙者餘財，不顧恥辱。 身死家室富，又恐受賕枉法，為姦觸大罪，身死而家滅。 貪吏安可為也！ 念為廉吏，奉法守職，竟死不敢為非。 廉吏安可為也！ 楚相孫叔敖持廉至死，方今妻子窮困負薪而食，不足為也！」 於是莊王謝優孟，乃召孫叔敖子，封之寢丘四百戶，以奉其祀。 后十世不絕。 此知可以言時矣。
Sun Shuao, the Chancellor of Chu, recognized You Meng as a man of true worth and treated him with great courtesy. When Sun Shuao lay on his deathbed, he charged his son: "After I am gone, you will surely fall into poverty. When that time comes, go to You Meng and tell him that you are the son of Sun Shuao." Some years later, the son had indeed fallen into destitution and was carrying firewood for a living. He chanced upon You Meng and said: "I am the son of Sun Shuao. On his deathbed, my father told me that when I fell into poverty, I should seek out You Meng." You Meng said: "Stay close by. Do not go wandering off." He then donned the robes and cap that Sun Shuao had once worn, mastering the chancellor's gestures and manner of speech. After more than a year of practice, his impersonation of Sun Shuao was so perfect that neither the King of Chu nor his attendants could tell the two apart. At a banquet held by King Zhuang, You Meng came forward to offer a toast to the king's health. King Zhuang was astonished, convinced that Sun Shuao had returned from the dead. He wanted to appoint him chancellor on the spot. You Meng said: "Allow me to go home and consult with my wife. In three days I shall accept the chancellorship." King Zhuang agreed. Three days later, You Meng came back. The king asked: "And what did your wife have to say?" Meng said: "My wife urged me in the strongest terms to decline. She said the chancellorship of Chu is not worth having. Consider Sun Shuao as chancellor — he poured out his loyalty and served with perfect integrity, governing Chu so well that the king rose to become hegemon. Now that he is dead, his son has not a pin's breadth of land to stand on. He carries firewood on his back just to keep from starving. If being chancellor means ending up like Sun Shuao, one might as well take one's own life." Then he sang: "To dwell in the hills and plow the fields is bitter toil — hard even to keep body and soul together. Rise to become an official, and the greedy and base among them grow rich, caring nothing for shame or disgrace. They die with their families wealthy — yet there is always the fear of taking bribes and perverting justice, of committing a crime so grave that one dies and one's whole household is destroyed. How can anyone bear to be a corrupt official! Think instead of being an honest official — upholding the law, fulfilling one's duties, never once daring to do wrong until the very day of one's death. But how can anyone bear to be an honest official either! Sun Shuao, Chancellor of Chu, held fast to his integrity unto death — yet today his wife and children carry firewood on their backs just to eat. It is not worth doing!" At this, King Zhuang apologized to You Meng. He summoned the son of Sun Shuao and enfeoffed him with four hundred households at Qinqiu, so that the ancestral sacrifices might be maintained. The family line continued unbroken for ten generations. This was a man who understood the art of speaking at the right moment.
8
其後二百餘年，秦有優旃。
More than two hundred years after this, there arose in Qin a jester called You Zhan.
9
優旃者，秦倡侏儒也。 善為笑言，然合於大道，秦始皇時，置酒而天雨，陛楯者皆沾寒。 優旃見而哀之，謂之曰：「汝欲休乎？」 陛楯者皆曰：「幸甚。」 優旃曰：「我即呼汝，汝疾應曰諾。」 居有頃，殿上上壽呼萬歲。 優旃臨檻大呼曰：「陛楯郎！」 郎曰：「諾。」 優旃曰：「汝雖長，何益，幸雨立。 我雖短也，幸休居。」 於是始皇使陛楯者得半相代。
You Zhan was a dwarf entertainer in the court of Qin. He was a master of witty remarks, yet his jests always struck at the greater truth. During the reign of the First Emperor, a banquet was being held when rain began to fall, and the guards standing watch on the palace steps were soaked through and shivering. You Zhan saw their misery and felt pity for them. He called out: "Would you like a rest?" The guards all cried: "We would be most grateful!" You Zhan said: "When I call out to you, answer 'Aye!' as quick as you can." Before long, a toast was raised in the great hall and the cry of "Ten thousand years!" rang out. You Zhan leaned over the balustrade and bellowed: "Gentlemen of the guard!" The guards answered as one: "Aye!" You Zhan called out: "Tall as you are, what good does it do you? You get the privilege of standing in the rain. Short as I am, I get the privilege of sitting inside where it is dry." At this, the First Emperor ordered that the guards be allowed to take turns, half on duty and half resting.
10
始皇嘗議欲大苑囿，東至函谷關，西至雍、陳倉。 優旃曰：「善。 多縱禽獸於其中，寇從東方來，令麋鹿觸之足矣。」 始皇以故輟止。
The First Emperor once proposed to vastly expand the imperial hunting park, stretching it east to Hangu Pass and west to Yong and Chencang. You Zhan said: "A splendid idea! Fill it with game animals aplenty, and when the invaders come from the east, simply order the elk to charge them — that should be quite sufficient." Because of this, the First Emperor abandoned the plan.
11
二世立，又欲漆其城。 優旃曰：「善。 主上雖無言，臣固將請之。 漆城雖於百姓愁費，然佳哉！ 漆城蕩蕩，寇來不能上。 即欲就之，易為漆耳，顧難為蔭室。」 於是二世笑之，以其故止。 居無何，二世殺死，優旃歸漢，數年而卒。
When the Second Emperor ascended the throne, he conceived the notion of lacquering the city walls. You Zhan said: "A wonderful idea! Even had Your Majesty not proposed it, your servant was just about to suggest it himself. True, lacquering the walls will burden the people with grief and expense — but what a magnificent sight it will be! The lacquered walls will gleam so smooth and slippery that when invaders come, they will never be able to scale them. The only difficulty is this: applying the lacquer is easy enough, but where on earth would we build a drying shed large enough to cover the walls while they cure?" The Second Emperor burst out laughing and dropped the idea. Not long after, the Second Emperor was killed. You Zhan went over to the Han dynasty, and some years later he passed away.
12
太史公曰：淳于髡仰天大笑，齊威王橫行。 優孟搖頭而歌，負薪者以封。 優旃臨檻疾呼，陛楯得以半更。 豈不亦偉哉！
The Grand Historian remarks: Chunyu Kun threw back his head and laughed to the heavens, and King Wei of Qi marched unchallenged across the land. You Meng shook his head and broke into song, and the man who carried firewood received a fief. You Zhan leaned over the balustrade and cried out, and the guards were granted the mercy of half-shifts. Were these men not also magnificent in their way!
13
褚先生曰：臣幸得以經術為郎，而好讀外家傳語。 竊不遜讓，復作故事滑稽之語六章，編之於左。 可以覽觀揚意，以示後世好事者讀之，以游心駭耳，以附益上方太史公之三章。
Master Chu says: Your servant was fortunate enough to gain his position as a court gentleman through scholarship in the Classics, and he has always delighted in reading the traditions and tales of the various schools. With more boldness than modesty, I have composed six additional tales of wit and humor, which are appended below. These may be perused for amusement and edification, and offered to curious readers of later ages for the pleasure of the mind and the surprise of the ear — appended here as a supplement to the Grand Historian's three tales above.
14
武帝時有所幸倡郭舍人者，發言陳辭雖不合大道，然令人主和說。 武帝少時，東武侯母常養帝，帝壯時，號之曰「大乳母」。 率一月再朝。 朝奏入，有詔使幸臣馬游卿以帛五十匹賜乳母，又奉飲糒飱養乳母。 乳母上書曰：「某所有公田，願得假倩之。」 帝曰：「乳母欲得之乎？」 以賜乳母。 乳母所言，未嘗不聽。 有詔得令乳母乘車行馳道中。 當此之時，公卿大臣皆敬重乳母。 乳母家子孫奴從者橫暴長安中，當道掣頓人車馬，奪人衣服。 聞於中，不忍致之法。 有司請徙乳母家室，處之於邊。 奏可。 乳母當入至前，面見辭。 乳母先見郭舍人，為下泣。 舍人曰：「即入見辭去，疾步數還顧。」 乳母如其言，謝去，疾步數還顧。 郭舍人疾言罵之曰：「咄！ 老女子！ 何不疾行！ 陛下已壯矣，寧尚須汝乳而活邪？ 尚何還顧！」 於是人主憐焉悲之，乃下詔止無徙乳母，罰謫譖之者。
In the time of Emperor Wu, there was a favored jester by the name of Guo Sheren. His words and quips may not have accorded with the great Way, but they never failed to put the emperor in good humor. When Emperor Wu was a boy, the mother of the Marquis of Dongwu had served as his wet nurse. When he grew to manhood, he honored her with the title 'the Great Nurse.' She was received at court twice a month as a matter of course. Whenever she submitted a memorial, the emperor would order his favored minister Ma Youqing to bestow fifty bolts of silk upon the nurse, along with food and provisions for her maintenance. The nurse petitioned the throne: "There are public fields at a certain place. I beg to be allowed to lease them." The emperor said: "The nurse wants them?" And he granted them to her. Whatever the nurse requested, the emperor never refused. A special edict was issued granting the nurse the privilege of traveling by carriage on the imperial thoroughfare. At this time, every minister and high official in the court treated the nurse with the greatest respect. The nurse's children, grandchildren, and household servants ran rampant through Chang'an. They blocked the roads, dragged people from their carts, and stripped the clothes from their backs. When word of this reached the emperor, he could not bring himself to punish her. The responsible officials petitioned to have the nurse's entire household banished to the frontier. The petition was approved. The nurse was to present herself before the emperor for a final audience to take her leave. Before the audience, the nurse went to see Guo Sheren and wept before him. Sheren told her: "When you go in to bid farewell, walk away briskly — but keep glancing back over your shoulder." The nurse followed his instructions. She said her farewell and turned to leave, walking briskly but glancing back again and again. Guo Sheren barked after her: "Bah! You foolish old woman! Get moving, won't you! His Majesty is a grown man now — does he still need your breast to survive? What is there to keep looking back for!" At this, the emperor was overcome with pity and grief. He issued an edict revoking the nurse's banishment and punished those who had spoken against her.
15
武帝時，齊人有東方生名朔，以好古傳書，愛經術，多所博觀外家之語。 朔初入長安，至公車上書，凡用三千奏牘。 公車令兩人共持舉其書，僅然能勝之。 人主從上方讀之，止，輒乙其處，讀之二月乃盡。 詔拜以為郎，常在側侍中。 數召至前談語，人主未嘗不說也。 時詔賜之食於前。 飯已，盡懷其餘肉持去，衣盡汙。 數賜縑帛，檐揭而去。 徒用所賜錢帛，取少婦於長安中好女。 率取婦一歲所者即棄去，更取婦。 所賜錢財盡索之於女子。 人主左右諸郎半呼之「狂人」。 人主聞之，曰：「令朔在事無為是行者，若等安能及之哉！」 朔任其子為郎，又為侍謁者，常持節出使。 朔行殿中，郎謂之曰：「人皆以先生為狂。」 朔曰：「如朔等，所謂避世於朝廷閒者也。 古之人，乃避世於深山中。」 時坐席中，酒酣，據地歌曰：「陸沈於俗，避世金馬門。 宮殿中可以避世全身，何必深山之中，蒿廬之下。」 金馬門者，宦［者］署門也，門傍有銅馬，故謂之曰「金馬門」。
In the time of Emperor Wu, there was a man from Qi surnamed Dongfang, whose given name was Shuo. He was devoted to the ancient traditions, loved the study of the Classics, and had read widely in the writings of the various schools. When Shuo first arrived in Chang'an, he submitted a memorial through the Office of the Public Carriage. It filled three thousand bamboo tablets. It took two men from the Office of the Public Carriage just to lift the memorial, and even then they could barely carry it. The emperor read it through from beginning to end, marking his place with a notch each time he paused. It took him two full months to finish. By imperial edict, Shuo was appointed a palace gentleman and kept always in attendance at the emperor's side. He was frequently called before the emperor for conversation, and the emperor never failed to be delighted. From time to time, the emperor ordered food to be served to him right there at court. When the meal was done, he would stuff every last scrap of leftover meat into the folds of his robe and carry it off, leaving his clothes thoroughly stained with grease. Whenever the emperor bestowed bolts of silk upon him, he would sling them over his shoulder and stride away. He used every coin and bolt of silk he received to take young wives from among the most beautiful women of Chang'an. He would keep each wife for about a year before casting her aside and marrying a new one. Every bit of wealth the emperor bestowed on him was lavished upon women. Half the gentlemen at court took to calling him 'the Madman.' When the emperor heard this, he said: "If Shuo held his office without indulging in such antics, how could the likes of you ever hope to match him!" Shuo had his son appointed a palace gentleman. He himself also served as an attendant and reception officer, and was frequently sent on missions bearing the imperial tally. As Shuo was passing through the palace hall one day, a gentleman said to him: "Everyone thinks you are mad, sir." Shuo replied: "Men like me are what you might call recluses who hide from the world right here at court. The recluses of old fled into the deep mountains." Once, deep into his cups at a banquet, he slapped the ground and sang: "Sunk in obscurity among the vulgar crowd, I hide from the world at the Gate of the Golden Horse. Within these palace walls a man can hide from the world and keep himself whole — what need is there for deep mountains and thatched huts?" The Gate of the Golden Horse was the entrance to the offices of the palace attendants. A bronze horse stood beside the gate, which is how it got its name.
16
時會聚宮下博士諸先生與論議，共難之曰：「蘇秦、張儀一當萬乘之主，而都卿相之位，澤及後世。 今子大夫修先王之術，慕聖人之義，諷誦詩書百家之言，不可勝數。 著於竹帛，自以為海內無雙，即可謂博聞辯智矣。 然悉力盡忠以事聖帝，曠日持久，積數十年，官不過侍郎，位不過執戟，意者尚有遺行邪？ 其故何也？」 東方生曰：「是固非子所能備也。 彼一時也，此一時也，豈可同哉！ 夫張儀、蘇秦之時，周室大壞，諸侯不朝，力政爭權，相禽以兵，并為十二國，未有雌雄，得士者彊，失士者亡，故說聽行通，身處尊位，澤及後世，子孫長榮。 今非然也。 聖帝在上，德流天下，諸侯賓服，威振四夷，連四海之外以為席，安於覆盂，天下平均，合為一家，動發舉事，猶如運之掌中。 賢與不肖，何以異哉？ 方今以天下之大，士民之眾，竭精馳說，并進輻湊者，不可勝數。 悉力慕義，困於衣食，或失門戶。 使張儀、蘇秦與仆并生於今之世，曾不能得掌故，安敢望常侍侍郎乎！ 傳曰：『天下無害菑，雖有聖人，無所施其才； 上下和同，雖有賢者，無所立功。』 故曰時異則事異。 雖然，安可以不務修身乎？ 《詩》曰：『鼓鐘于宮，聲聞于外。 鶴鳴九皋，聲聞于天。』 。 茍能修身，何患不榮！ 太公躬行仁義七十二年，逢文王，得行其說，封於齊，七百歲而不絕。 此士之所以日夜孜孜，修學行道，不敢止也。 今世之處士，時雖不用，崛然獨立，塊然獨處，上觀許由，下察接輿，策同范蠡，忠合子胥，天下和平，與義相扶，寡偶少徒，固其常也。 子何疑於余哉！」 於是諸先生默然無以應也。
Once, the court academicians and scholars assembled and challenged him in debate: "Su Qin and Zhang Yi each won audience with the mightiest rulers of their age, rose to the rank of minister and chancellor, and their influence was felt for generations to come. Now you, sir, have cultivated the arts of the former kings, revered the righteous ways of the sages, and committed to memory the Odes, the Documents, and the writings of the hundred schools — more than can be counted. Your writings fill scroll after scroll, and you consider yourself without peer in all the realm — a man of vast learning and eloquent wit, by any measure. And yet, for all your exhausting loyalty in the emperor's service, over the course of decades your office has never risen above Attendant Gentleman and your rank has never surpassed Halberd-Bearer. Could it be that there is something wanting in your conduct? What is the reason for this?" Dongfang Shuo replied: "This is something that lies entirely beyond your understanding. Those were different times, and these are different times — how can the two be compared! In the days of Zhang Yi and Su Qin, the house of Zhou lay in ruins. The feudal lords no longer came to court; they governed by force and vied for supremacy, waging war upon one another. The world was divided among a dozen states, with no clear victor. Those who won talented men grew strong; those who lost them perished. And so these men's counsel was heeded, their plans put into action. They rose to the highest offices, their influence endured for generations, and their descendants prospered long after them. Today, things are entirely different. A sage emperor reigns above, and his virtue flows to every corner of the realm. The feudal lords submit in deference, his authority makes the barbarians of the four directions tremble. The lands beyond the four seas lie before him like a spread mat, as steady as an overturned bowl. All under heaven is unified and at peace, joined as one great family, and every enterprise the emperor undertakes is as effortless as turning an object in the palm of his hand. In such an age, what difference is there between the worthy and the unworthy? Now, given the vastness of the empire and the sheer multitude of its people, those who pour out their talents and hawk their ideas, pressing forward from every direction — they are beyond counting. They devote every ounce of their strength to the pursuit of virtue, yet they can scarcely clothe and feed themselves, and some have lost even their family standing. If Zhang Yi and Su Qin were alive today, born into this same age as I, they could not so much as land a post as a petty archivist — how then would they dare dream of becoming Regular Attendant or Attendant Gentleman! As the tradition has it: 'When the world is free of calamity and ruin, even a sage has no occasion to display his talents. When those above and below are in harmony, even a worthy man has no occasion to win distinction.' And so it is said: different times call for different measures. And yet, how can a man neglect the cultivation of his own character? As the Odes say: 'When drums and bells sound within the palace, their music carries beyond the walls. The crane cries from the deepest marsh, and its voice reaches the heavens.' End of quotation. If a man can truly cultivate himself, what need has he to worry that recognition will not come! The Grand Duke practiced benevolence and righteousness in person for seventy-two years before he met King Wen, gained the chance to put his ideas into practice, and was enfeoffed in Qi — where his line endured unbroken for seven hundred years. This is why the scholar toils day and night without respite, cultivating his learning and walking the Way, never daring to cease. The recluse scholars of our age, though the times have no use for them, stand tall and solitary, dwelling apart in their grandeur. They look upward to Xu You for inspiration and downward to Jie Yu; their strategems rival those of Fan Li, and their loyalty matches that of Wu Zixu. The world is at peace, and they sustain themselves through righteousness. That they have few companions and fewer followers — this is simply their lot. Why then do you question me!" At this, every one of the scholars fell silent, with not a word to say in reply.
17
建章宮後閤重櫟中有物出焉，其狀似麋。 以聞，武帝往臨視之。 問左右群臣習事通經術者，莫能知。 詔東方朔視之。 朔曰：「臣知之，願賜美酒粱飯大飱臣，臣乃言。」 詔曰：「可。」 已又曰：「某所有公田魚池蒲葦數頃，陛下以賜臣，臣朔乃言。」 詔曰：「可。」 於是朔乃肯言，曰：「所謂騶牙者也。 遠方當來歸義，而騶牙先見。 其齒前后若一，齊等無牙，故謂之騶牙。」 其後一歲所，匈奴混邪王果將十萬眾來降漢。 乃復賜東方生錢財甚多。
In the rear gallery of the Jianzhang Palace, amid a dense stand of oaks, a strange creature appeared. Its form resembled that of an elk. When word reached the throne, Emperor Wu went in person to inspect it. He questioned the ministers around him — those versed in affairs and learned in the Classics — but none of them could identify it. He ordered Dongfang Shuo to come and have a look. Shuo said: "Your servant knows what it is. But first, I beg that Your Majesty reward me with fine wine and a feast of the best millet — and only then will I speak." The emperor said: "Granted." After the feast, Shuo added: "At a certain place there are public fields with fish ponds and beds of rushes and reeds — several qing in area. If Your Majesty would bestow them upon me, then I shall tell you what the creature is." The emperor replied: "Granted." Only then did Shuo consent to speak. He said: "This is what is known as a zouya. When people from distant lands are about to come and submit in allegiance, the zouya appears as a harbinger. Its teeth are uniform from front to back, even and without tusks — which is why it is called the zouya, the creature of orderly teeth." About a year later, just as Shuo had predicted, the Xiongnu King Hunye led a hundred thousand of his people to surrender to the Han. The emperor once again lavished Dongfang Shuo with generous gifts of money and treasure.
18
至老，朔且死時，諫曰：「《詩》云『營營青蠅，止于蕃。 愷悌君子，無信讒言。 讒言罔極，交亂四國』。 願陛下遠巧佞，退讒言。」 帝曰：「今顧東方朔多善言？」 怪之。 居無幾何，朔果病死。 傳曰：「鳥之將死，其鳴也哀； 人之將死，其言也善。」 此之謂也。
In old age, when Shuo lay on his deathbed, he offered a final admonition: "The Odes say, 'The buzzing green flies settle on the fence. O kind and gracious lord, give no credit to slanderous words. Slander knows no bounds, and throws the four quarters of the realm into confusion.' I beg Your Majesty to keep your distance from the cunning and the sycophantic, and to cast aside all slanderous counsel." The emperor said: "Since when has Dongfang Shuo had so many wise things to say?" He thought it most peculiar. Not long after, Shuo fell ill and died, just as one might have expected. As the saying goes: "When a bird is about to die, its song turns mournful. When a man is about to die, his words turn to wisdom." This is precisely what the saying means.
19
武帝時，大將軍衛青者，衛后兄也，封為長平侯。 從軍擊匈奴，至余吾水上而還，斬首捕虜，有功來歸，詔賜金千斤。 將軍出宮門，齊人東郭先生以方士待詔公車，當道遮衛將軍車，拜謁曰：「願白事。」 將軍止車前，東郭先生旁車言曰：「王夫人新得幸於上，家貧。 今將軍得金千斤，誠以其半賜王夫人之親，人主聞之必喜。 此所謂奇策便計也。」 衛將軍謝之曰：「先生幸告之以便計，請奉教。」 於是衛將軍乃以五百金為王夫人之親壽。 王夫人以聞武帝。 帝曰：「大將軍不知為此。」 問之安所受計策，對曰：「受之待詔者東郭先生。」 詔召東郭先生，拜以為郡都尉。 東郭先生久待詔公車，貧困饑寒，衣敝，履不完。 行雪中，履有上無下，足盡踐地。 道中人笑之，東郭先生應之曰：「誰能履行雪中，令人視之，其上履也，其履下處乃似人足者乎？」 及其拜為二千石，佩青緺出宮門，行謝主人。 故所以同官待詔者，等比祖道於都門外。 榮華道路，立名當世。 此所謂衣褐懷寶者也。 當其貧困時，人莫省視； 至其貴也，乃爭附之。 諺曰：「相馬失之瘦，相士失之貧。」 其此之謂邪？
In the time of Emperor Wu, the Grand General Wei Qing — brother of Empress Wei — held the title of Marquis of Changping. He had led an expedition against the Xiongnu, pushing as far as the Yuwu River before turning back, taking heads and capturing prisoners. He returned victorious, and the emperor rewarded him with a thousand catties of gold. As the general was leaving the palace, a man from Qi named Dongguo Xiansheng — who had been waiting as a specialist scholar at the Office of the Public Carriage — stepped into the road and blocked the general's carriage. He bowed and said: "I wish to offer a word of counsel." The general stopped his carriage, and Dongguo Xiansheng spoke from beside it: "Lady Wang has recently won the emperor's favor, but her family is poor. Now the general has received a thousand catties of gold. If you were to present half of it to Lady Wang's family as a gift, the emperor will surely be delighted when he hears of it. This is what you might call a masterstroke of expedient counsel." General Wei thanked him: "The master has been kind enough to share this excellent counsel. I shall follow your advice." And so General Wei presented five hundred catties of gold to the family of Lady Wang as a gift. Lady Wang brought word of this to Emperor Wu. The emperor said: "The Grand General would never have thought of this on his own." Asked who had given him the idea, the general answered: "It was a scholar-in-waiting by the name of Dongguo Xiansheng." The emperor summoned Dongguo Xiansheng and appointed him Commandant of a commandery. Dongguo Xiansheng had languished for years at the Office of the Public Carriage, impoverished and half-starved, his clothes in tatters and his shoes falling apart. When he walked through the snow, his shoes had uppers but no soles — his bare feet trod directly upon the frozen ground. Passersby laughed at him. Dongguo Xiansheng retorted: "Who else can walk through the snow and leave tracks that show shoes on top and bare human feet below?" When at last he was appointed to the rank of two-thousand-shi, he strode out the palace gate wearing a blue-green sash of office, and went to pay his respects to his former host. His former colleagues from the waiting list all gathered outside the capital gate to see him off with a farewell banquet. He rode out in splendor, his reputation made in the eyes of all his contemporaries. This is what the ancients meant by the man who wears coarse cloth but carries a jewel in his breast. When he was poor and destitute, not a soul spared him a glance. But the moment he rose to honor, everyone scrambled to attach themselves to him. As the proverb says: "In judging horses, you are misled by leanness; in judging men, you are misled by poverty." Is this not exactly what the proverb means?
20
王夫人病甚，人主至自往問之曰：「子當為王，欲安所置之？」 對曰：「願居洛陽。」 人主曰：「不可。 洛陽有武庫、敖倉，當關口，天下咽喉。 自先帝以來，傳不為置王。 然關東國莫大於齊，可以為齊王。」 王夫人以手擊頭，呼「幸甚」。 王夫人死，號曰「齊王太后薨」。
When Lady Wang fell gravely ill, the emperor visited her in person and asked: "Your son is to be made a king. Where would you like his kingdom to be?" She answered: "I wish him to be in Luoyang." The emperor said: "That is not possible. Luoyang holds the Imperial Arsenal and the Ao Granary. It commands the passes and sits at the throat of the empire. Since the time of our founding ancestors, the tradition has been never to establish a king there. However, of all the kingdoms east of the passes, none is greater than Qi. He shall be made King of Qi." Lady Wang pressed her hand to her forehead and exclaimed: "How blessed we are!" When Lady Wang died, the announcement read: "The Queen Dowager of Qi has passed away."
21
昔者，齊王使淳于髡獻鵠於楚。 出邑門，道飛其鵠，徒揭空籠，造詐成辭，往見楚王曰：「齊王使臣來獻鵠，過於水上，不忍鵠之渴，出而飲之，去我飛亡。 吾欲刺腹絞頸而死。 恐人之議吾王以鳥獸之故令士自傷殺也。 鵠，毛物，多相類者，吾欲買而代之，是不信而欺吾王也。 欲赴佗國奔亡，痛吾兩主使不通。 故來服過，叩頭受罪大王。」 楚王曰：「善，齊王有信士若此哉！」 厚賜之，財倍鵠在也。
Once, in the old days, the King of Qi sent Chunyu Kun to present a swan as a gift to the King of Chu. Just outside the city gate, the swan took flight and escaped. Kun was left holding nothing but an empty cage. He fashioned a plausible story and went to see the King of Chu: "The King of Qi sent your servant to present a swan. As I was crossing a stream, I could not bear to see it suffer from thirst, so I took it out to let it drink — and it flew away. I wanted to cut my belly open or hang myself. But I feared that people would say my king had driven a man to his death over a mere bird. The swan is a feathered creature, and many look alike. I thought of buying another to take its place — but that would have been dishonest and a deception of my king. I thought of fleeing to another state, but it grieved me that the diplomatic exchange between our two sovereigns would be severed. And so I have come to confess my transgression, prostrate myself, and accept whatever punishment Your Majesty sees fit to impose." The King of Chu exclaimed: "Wonderful! So the King of Qi has men of such integrity!" He showered Kun with generous gifts — worth twice what the swan itself would have been.
22
武帝時，徵北海太守詣行在所。 有文學卒史王先生者，自請與太守俱，「吾有益於君」，君許之。 諸府掾功曹白云：「王先生嗜酒，多言少實，恐不可與俱。」 太守曰：「先生意欲行，不可逆。」 遂與俱。 行至宮下，待詔宮府門。 王先生徒懷錢沽酒，與衛卒仆射飲，日醉，不視其太守。 太守入跪拜。 王先生謂戶郎曰：「幸為我呼吾君至門內遙語。」 戶郎為呼太守。 太守來，望見王先生。 王先生曰：「天子即問君何以治北海令無盜賊，君對曰何哉？」 對曰：「選擇賢材，各任之以其能，賞異等，罰不肖。」 王先生曰：「對如是，是自譽自伐功，不可也。 願君對言，非臣之力，盡陛下神靈威武所變化也。」 太守曰：「諾。」 召入，至于殿下，有詔問之曰：「何於治北海，令盜賊不起？」 叩頭對言：「非臣之力，盡陛下神靈威武之所變化也。」 武帝大笑，曰：「於呼！ 安得長者之語而稱之！ 安所受之？」 對曰：「受之文學卒史。」 帝曰：「今安在？」 對曰：「在宮府門外。」 有詔召拜王先生為水衡丞，以北海太守為水衡都尉。 傳曰：「美言可以市，尊行可以加人。 君子相送以言，小人相送以財。」
In the time of Emperor Wu, the Governor of Beihai was summoned to present himself before the emperor at his traveling court. A scholarly clerk by the name of Wang Xiansheng asked to accompany him, declaring: "I will be of service to you, my lord." The governor agreed. The governor's staff and merit officer warned him: "Wang Xiansheng is a drunkard — all talk and no substance. We fear it would be a mistake to bring him along." The governor replied: "The master wishes to come. It would be wrong to refuse him." And so they traveled together. When they arrived at the palace, the governor waited for his summons at the gate of the palace offices. Wang Xiansheng, for his part, simply pulled coins from his robe to buy wine and spent his days drinking with the guards and their captain, getting drunk every day and paying the governor no attention whatsoever. When the governor was finally called in to kneel before the emperor. Wang Xiansheng said to the gate guard: "Would you be so kind as to call my lord just inside the gate? I wish to have a word with him from here." The guard summoned the governor. The governor came out and saw Wang Xiansheng waiting. Wang Xiansheng asked: "When the Son of Heaven asks you how you governed Beihai so that there were no bandits, what do you plan to say?" The governor replied: "I would say that I selected worthy men of talent, appointed each according to his abilities, rewarded the outstanding, and punished the unfit." Wang Xiansheng said: "If you answer like that, you will be praising yourself and boasting of your own merits — that will never do. I suggest you answer like this: 'It was not through any effort of mine, but entirely through the divine spirit and martial power of Your Majesty that this transformation was wrought.'" The governor agreed: "Very well." The governor was summoned before the throne. The emperor asked: "How is it that you governed Beihai so that not a single bandit arose?" He prostrated himself and answered: "It was not through any effort of mine, but entirely through the divine spirit and martial power of Your Majesty that this transformation was wrought." Emperor Wu burst out laughing: "Ha! Where on earth did you pick up such a dignified turn of phrase! Who taught you to say that?" The governor answered: "It was my scholarly clerk who coached me." The emperor asked: "Where is this man now?" The governor replied: "He is outside the palace gate." The emperor issued an edict appointing Wang Xiansheng as Assistant Superintendent of Waterways, and the Governor of Beihai was made Superintendent of Waterways. As the saying goes: "Fine words can be traded in the marketplace; noble conduct can raise a man above his station. The gentleman sends a friend on his way with words; the petty man sends him off with gold."
23
魏文侯時，西門豹為鄴令。 豹往到鄴，會長老，問之民所疾苦。 長老曰：「苦為河伯娶婦，以故貧。」 豹問其故，對曰：「鄴三老、廷掾常歲賦斂百姓，收取其錢得數百萬，用其二三十萬為河伯娶婦，與祝巫共分其餘錢持歸。 當其時，巫行視小家女好者，云是當為河伯婦，即娉取。 洗沐之，為治新繒綺縠衣，閒居齋戒； 為治齋宮河上，張緹絳帷，女居其中。 為具牛酒飯食，行十餘日。 共粉飾之，如嫁女床席，令女居其上，浮之河中。 始浮，行數十里乃沒。 其人家有好女者，恐大巫祝為河伯取之，以故多持女遠逃亡。 以故城中益空無人，又困貧，所從來久遠矣。 民人俗語曰『即不為河伯娶婦，水來漂沒，溺其人民』云。」 西門豹曰：「至為河伯娶婦時，願三老、巫祝、父老送女河上，幸來告語之，吾亦往送女。」 皆曰：「諾。」
In the time of Marquis Wen of Wei, Ximen Bao was appointed magistrate of the city of Ye. When Bao arrived in Ye, he gathered the elders together and asked them what afflictions the people suffered. The elders said: "Our great affliction is the yearly marriage to the River God. It has bled us into poverty." Bao asked them to explain. They replied: "Every year the three elders and district clerks of Ye levy a tax on the common people, collecting several million coins. They spend two or three hundred thousand on a bride for the River God, and the shamans and prayer-masters pocket the rest. When the season arrives, the shamans go from house to house, inspecting the daughters of humble families for beauty. They declare one of them to be the chosen bride of the River God and take her with a betrothal payment. They bathe her, dress her in new garments of silk and gauze, and set her apart in seclusion to fast and purify herself. They erect a purification lodge on the riverbank, hung with curtains of orange and crimson, and the girl takes up residence inside. They lay out offerings of beef, wine, and food, and the ceremonies continue for more than ten days. They paint and adorn her, arrange a bed and mat as though for a bride being given away, seat the girl upon it, and set the whole thing floating on the river. For a time the raft floats, drifting dozens of li downstream before sinking beneath the water. Any family with a beautiful daughter lives in terror that the head shaman will choose her for the River God. And so most of them take their daughters and flee to distant places. Because of this, the city has grown emptier and emptier, and those who remain are mired in poverty. This has been going on for a very long time." The common folk say: 'If we do not give the River God his bride, the waters will come and drown us all.'" Ximen Bao said: "When the time comes for the River God's wedding, I would like the three elders, the shamans, and the village elders to escort the bride to the riverbank. Be sure to let me know — I wish to attend the ceremony and see her off myself." They all agreed.
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至其時，西門豹往會之河上。 三老、官屬、豪長者、裏父老皆會，以人民往觀之者三二千人。 其巫，老女子也，已年七十。 從弟子女十人所，皆衣繒單衣，立大巫后。 西門豹曰：「呼河伯婦來，視其好醜。」 即將女出帷中，來至前。 豹視之，顧謂三老、巫祝、父老曰：「是女子不好，煩大巫嫗為入報河伯，得更求好女，后日送之。」 即使吏卒共抱大巫嫗投之河中。 有頃，曰：「巫嫗何久也？ 弟子趣之！」 復以弟子一人投河中。 有頃，曰：「弟子何久也？ 復使一人趣之！」 復投一弟子河中。 凡投三弟子。 西門豹曰：「巫嫗弟子是女子也，不能白事，煩三老為入白之。」 復投三老河中。 西門豹簪筆磬折，向河立待良久。 長老、吏傍觀者皆驚恐。 西門豹顧曰：「巫嫗、三老不來還，柰之何？」 欲復使廷掾與豪長者一人入趣之。 皆叩頭，叩頭且破，額血流地，色如死灰。 西門豹曰：「諾，且留待之須臾。」 須臾，豹曰：「廷掾起矣。 狀河伯留客之久，若皆罷去歸矣。」 鄴吏民大驚恐，從是以後，不敢復言為河伯娶婦。
When the appointed day arrived, Ximen Bao went to the riverbank to join the assembly. The three elders, the officials, the local magnates, and the village elders were all assembled, and two or three thousand common people had come to watch. The head shaman was an old woman of seventy. Behind her stood some ten female disciples, all dressed in robes of silk. Ximen Bao said: "Bring out the bride for the River God. Let me have a look at whether she is beautiful enough." They led the girl out from behind the curtains and brought her before him. Bao studied the girl, then turned to the three elders, the shamans, and the village elders: "This girl will not do — she is not beautiful enough. I must trouble the old shaman woman to go into the river and inform the River God that we need more time to find a prettier girl. We will send her along on another day." At once he ordered his officers and soldiers to seize the old shaman woman and hurl her into the river. After a short while, he said: "What is taking the old shaman so long? Send one of her disciples to hurry her along!" And so one of the disciples was thrown into the river. After a further while, he said: "What is taking the disciple so long? Send another to fetch her!" Another disciple was hurled into the river. In total, three disciples were cast in. Ximen Bao said: "These disciples are mere girls — they cannot deliver the message properly. I must trouble the three elders to go in and speak to the River God themselves." And the three elders were thrown into the river. Ximen Bao, his writing brush tucked in his cap, bowed low toward the river and stood waiting for a very long time. The elders, the officials, and all the onlookers were seized with terror. Ximen Bao turned around: "The old shaman and the three elders have not returned. What shall we do about that?" He made as if to send the district clerk and one of the local magnates into the river to fetch them. Every one of them flung himself to the ground, smashing his forehead against the earth until the skin split and blood ran down onto the ground. Their faces turned the color of ash. Ximen Bao said: "Very well. Let us wait a moment longer." After a pause, Bao said: "You may get up. It seems the River God is keeping his guests rather a long time. You may all disperse and go home." The officials and people of Ye were struck with terror. From that day forward, no one ever dared mention the River God's bride again.
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西門豹即發民鑿十二渠，引河水灌民田，田皆溉。 當其時，民治渠少煩苦，不欲也。 豹曰：「民可以樂成，不可與慮始。 今父老子弟雖患苦我，然百歲後期令父老子孫思我言。」 至今皆得水利，民人以給足富。 十二渠經絕馳道，到漢之立，而長吏以為十二渠橋絕馳道，相比近，不可。 欲合渠水，且至馳道合三渠為一橋。 鄴民人父老不肯聽長吏，以為西門君所為也，賢君之法式不可更也。 長吏終聽置之。 故西門豹為鄴令，名聞天下，澤流後世，無絕已時，幾可謂非賢大夫哉！
Ximen Bao then set the people to work digging twelve irrigation canals, channeling the river's water to irrigate their fields. Every field in the district was watered. At the time, the people found the labor of digging the canals burdensome and resented it. Bao said: "The common people can take pleasure in what is completed, but they cannot be asked to deliberate on what is begun. Though the elders and their sons may curse me today, a hundred years hence I trust their descendants will remember what I have said." To this day, the people enjoy the benefits of irrigation, and the district has become prosperous and self-sufficient. The twelve canals crossed the imperial highway. After the founding of the Han dynasty, senior officials complained that the twelve canal bridges cutting across the highway were set too close together and demanded they be altered. They proposed to consolidate the waterways, merging every three canals into a single channel where they crossed the highway. But the people and elders of Ye refused to comply. These were Lord Ximen's works, they said, and the designs of a worthy lord must not be altered. In the end, the officials relented and left the canals as they were. And so Ximen Bao governed Ye, and his name became known throughout the realm. His blessings have flowed down to later generations without end. Could anyone deny that he was a worthy minister?
26
傳曰：「子產治鄭，民不能欺； 子賤治單父，民不忍欺； 西門豹治鄴，民不敢欺。」 三子之才能誰最賢哉？ 辨治者當能別之。
There is a saying: "When Zichan governed Zheng, the people could not deceive him; when Zijian governed Shanfu, the people could not bring themselves to deceive him; when Ximen Bao governed Ye, the people dared not deceive him." Of these three men, whose ability was the greatest? Those who truly understand the art of governance should be able to tell the difference.