Volume 65: Dongfang Shuo

卷六十五東方朔傳第三十五

Volume 65: the thirty-fifth biography—Dongfang Shuo.

東方朔字曼倩，平原厭次人也。武帝初即位，征天下舉方正賢良文學材力之士，待以不次之位，四方士多上書言得失，自衒鬻者以千數，其不足采者輒報聞罷。朔初來，上書曰：「臣朔少失父母，長養兄嫂。年十三學書，三冬文史足用。十五學擊劍。十六學《詩》、《書》，誦二十二萬言。十九學孫、吳兵法，戰陣之具，鉦鼓之教，亦誦二十二萬言。凡臣朔固已誦四十四萬言。又常服子路之言。臣朔年二十二，長九尺三寸，目若懸珠，齒若編貝，勇若孟賁，捷若慶忌，廉若鮑叔，信若尾生。若此，可以為天子大臣矣。臣朔昧死再拜以聞。」

Dongfang Shuo, whose courtesy name was Manqian, came from Yanci in Pingyuan commandery. Early in Emperor Wu's reign the court summoned men of integrity, literary talent, and practical ability, promising posts outside the normal ladder of promotion. Memorials poured in from every quarter—thousands of men peddling their wares—and those without merit received a polite note of receipt and heard no more. In his first memorial Dongfang Shuo wrote, I lost my parents while young and was raised by my brother and his wife. By thirteen he had mastered literacy; three winters of study gave him all the documentary learning he needed. At fifteen he took up fencing. At sixteen he studied the Odes and Documents until he could recite two hundred twenty thousand characters. At nineteen he mastered Sunzi and Wuzi on war—formations, gongs, and drums—and committed another two hundred twenty thousand characters to memory. In sum I have four hundred forty thousand characters by heart. I try always to live by what Zilu taught. I am twenty-two, stand nine feet three inches, my eyes shine like pearls and my teeth line up like shells; in courage I match Meng Ben, in agility Qingji, in integrity Bao Shu, in good faith Weisheng. A man of such parts may stand as a minister to the Son of Heaven. I risk execution to lay this before you twice over.

朔文辭不遜，高自稱譽，上偉之，令待詔公車，奉祿薄，未得省見。

Dongfang Shuo's memorial was immodest and his self-praise extravagant, yet the emperor was impressed and rostered him at the Public Carriage office—meager pay and no audience in the inner palace.

久之，朔紿騶硃儒，曰：「上以若曹無益於縣官，耕田力作固不及人，臨眾處官不能治民，從軍擊虜不任兵事，無益於國用，徒索衣食，今欲盡殺若曹。」硃儒大恐，啼泣。朔教曰：「上即過，叩頭請罪。」居有頃，聞上過，硃儒皆號泣頓首。上問：「何為？」對曰：「東方朔言上欲盡誅臣等。」上知朔多端，召問朔：「何恐硃儒為？」對曰：「臣朔生亦言，死亦言。硃儒長三尺餘，奉一囊粟，錢二百四十。臣朔長九尺餘，亦奉一囊粟，錢二百四十。硃儒飽欲死，臣朔饑欲死。臣言可用，幸異其禮；不可用，罷之，無令但索長安米。」上大笑，因使待詔金馬門，稍得親近。

After long neglect Dongfang Shuo hoaxed the court dwarf Zhu Ru: His Majesty says you people are useless to the treasury—you cannot outwork farmers, cannot govern if given office, cannot fight if sent to the army; you only eat and wear what the state provides, so he means to execute the lot of you. The dwarfs were panic-stricken and sobbed. Dongfang Shuo told them, When he comes by, throw yourselves on the ground and plead for mercy. Soon they heard the imperial progress approaching and set up a chorus of weeping and kowtows. The emperor asked what the matter was. They said Dongfang Shuo had told them the emperor planned to slaughter every dwarf. The emperor knew Dongfang Shuo's tricks and called him in: Why did you terrify my dwarfs? He answered, I speak my mind in life and in death. Those fellows stand a little over three feet high yet draw one full sack of grain and two hundred forty cash a month. I stand well over nine feet and am paid the same sack and the same two hundred forty cash. They are bloated to bursting while I starve on the same ration. If my counsel is worth hearing, grant me a different scale of treatment; if not, dismiss me and spare the capital's grain. The emperor roared with laughter, moved him to the Golden Horse Gate waiting list, and little by little drew him nearer the throne.

上嘗使諸數家射覆，置守宮盂下，射之，皆不能中。朔自讚曰：「臣嘗受《易》，請射之。」乃別蓍布卦而對曰：「臣以為龍又無角，謂之為蛇又有足，跂跂脈脈善緣壁，是非守宮即蜥蜴。」上曰：「善。」賜帛十匹。復使射他物，連中，輒賜帛。

Once the emperor set the diviners a riddle: a gecko hidden under a jar. None could name it. Dongfang Shuo stepped forward: I have studied the Book of Changes; let me try. He cast the stalks and said, It has not the dragon's horn nor the snake's limbless glide; it pads along the wall with a creeping gait—it must be a gecko or a wall lizard. The emperor said, Well guessed. He rewarded him with ten bolts of silk. Further riddles followed; each time Dongfang Shuo hit the mark and silk was piled into his hands.

時，有幸倡郭舍人，滑稽不窮，常侍左右，曰：「朔狂，幸中耳，非至數也。臣願令朔復射，朔中之，臣榜百，不能中，臣賜帛。」乃覆樹上寄生，令朔射之。朔曰：「是寠藪也。」舍人曰：「果知朔不能中也。」朔曰：「生肉為膾，乾肉為脯；著樹為寄生，盆下為寠藪。」上令倡監榜舍人，舍人不勝痛，呼□。朔笑之曰：「咄！口無毛，聲□，尻益高。」舍人恚曰：「朔擅詆欺天子從官，當棄市。」上問朔：「何故詆之？」對曰：「臣非敢詆之，乃與為隱耳。」上曰：「隱云何？」朔曰：「夫口無毛者，狗竇也；聲□者，鳥哺□也；尻益高者，鶴俯啄也。」舍人不服，因曰：「臣願復問朔隱語，不知，亦當榜。」即妄為諧語曰：「令壺齟，老柏塗，伊優亞，狋吽牙。何謂也？」朔曰：「令者，命也。壺者，所以盛也。齟者，齒不正也。老者，人所敬也。柏者，鬼之廷也。塗者，漸洳徑也。伊優亞者，辭未定也。狋吽牙者，兩犬爭也。」舍人所問，朔應聲輒對，變詐鋒出，莫能窮者，左右大驚。上以朔為常侍郎，遂得愛幸。

A favorite court jester named Guo Sheren, quick with repartee, always at the sovereign's elbow, said, Dongfang Shuo is a madman; he guessed right by sheer luck, not by true numerology. Let him guess again: if he succeeds I take a hundred lashes; if he fails I claim the silk. They hid a mistletoe sprig from a tree and challenged him to name it. Dongfang Shuo said, It is a nest-thicket—a riddle-word for the parasite under the bowl. Guo Sheren crowed, I knew he could not get this one. Dongfang Shuo said, Raw meat sliced fine is kuai, dried meat is fu; on a tree that growth is mistletoe; under a bowl the same thing is called nest-thicket. The emperor told the master of jesters to flog Guo Sheren until he howled with pain. Dongfang Shuo called out, Hoy! No beard about the mouth, piping shrill as a nestling, haunches reared like a crane. Guo Sheren snarled that Dongfang Shuo had publicly mocked an imperial attendant and deserved execution in the marketplace. The emperor asked why he had insulted the man. Dongfang Shuo said, I did not insult him; I spoke in riddles. The emperor asked what the riddle meant. No hair around the mouth is a dog's burrow; A piping cry is fledglings begging in the nest; Haunches lifted high is a crane stooping to strike. Guo Sheren, still smarting, said, Let me set Dongfang Shuo another riddle—if he fails, he takes the rod in turn. He spouted nonsense: Order—jar—crooked teeth; old—cypress—muddy path; yi-you-ya; mingled growls. What does that mean? Dongfang Shuo said, Order is command. A jar is a vessel. Crooked teeth are snaggleteeth. Age is venerable. A cypress is the courtyard of ghosts—dark and forbidding. Mire is a boggy track. Yi-you-ya is the babble of someone who cannot make up his mind. The snarls are two dogs snapping at each other. Whatever Guo Sheren threw at him, Dongfang Shuo answered in the same breath with wit that never flagged; the whole court stared. The emperor named him a regular palace gentleman, and from then on he basked in imperial favor.

久之，伏日，詔賜從官肉。大官丞日晏下來，朔獨拔劍割肉，謂其同官曰：「伏日當蚤歸，請受賜。」即懷肉去。大官奏之。朔入，上曰：「昨賜肉，不待詔，以劍割肉而去之，何也？」朔免冠謝。上曰：「先生起，自責也！」朔再拜曰：「朔來！朔來！受賜不待詔，何無禮也！拔劍割肉，一何壯也！割之不多，又何廉也！歸遺細君，又何仁也！」上笑曰：「使先生自責，乃反自譽！」復賜酒一石，肉百斤，歸遺細君。

On a midsummer dog-day the emperor ordered meat distributed to his attendants. The steward's deputy arrived near evening; Dongfang Shuo alone whipped out his sword, carved his share, and told his colleagues, Dog-day leave is short—I am taking my portion home. He stuffed the meat in his robe and walked off. The steward reported him. When Dongfang Shuo was brought in, the emperor said, Yesterday I gave out meat; you carved yours with a sword and left without waiting for my word—why? Dongfang Shuo doffed his cap and apologized. The emperor said, Stand up, Master, and blame yourself! Dongfang Shuo bowed twice and cried, Shuo, come forward! Shuo, come forward! To take a gift without the emperor's word—how rude! To carve meat with your own blade—how bold! To take so modest a slice—how temperate! To carry it home to your wife—how tender-hearted! The emperor laughed and said, I asked you to blame yourself, and you have praised yourself instead! He sent him another stone of wine and a hundred jin of meat for his wife.

初，建元三年，微行始出，北至池陽，西至黃山，南獵長楊，東遊宜春。微行常用飲酎已。八九月中，與侍中常侍武騎及待詔隴西北地良家子能騎射者期諸殿門，故有「期門」之號自此始。微行以夜漏下十刻乃出，常稱平陽侯。旦明，入山下馳射鹿豕狐兔，手格熊羆，馳騖禾稼稻粳之地。民皆號呼罵詈，相聚會，自言鄠杜令。令往，欲謁平陽侯，諸騎欲擊鞭之。令大怒。使吏呵止，獵者數騎見留，乃示以乘輿物，久之乃得去。時夜出夕還，後繼五日糧，會朝長信官，上大歡樂之。是後，南山下乃知微行數出也，然尚迫於太后，未敢遠出。丞相御史知指，乃使右輔都尉徼循長楊以東，右內史發小民共待會所。後乃私置更衣，從宣曲以南十二所，中休更衣，投宿諸宮，長楊、五柞、倍陽、宣曲尤幸。於是上以為道遠勞苦，又為百姓所患，乃使太中大夫吾丘壽王與待詔能用算者二人，舉籍阿城以南，□以東，宜春以西，提封頃畝，乃其賈直，欲除以為上林苑，屬之南山。又詔中尉、左右內史表屬縣草田，欲以償鄠杜之民。吾丘壽王奏事，上大說稱善。時朔在傍，進諫曰：

In Jianyuan 3 the emperor began slipping out in disguise—north to Chiyang, west to Huangshan, south to hunt at Changyang, east to sport at Yichun. These secret jaunts usually waited until after the ritual tasting of the new ale. In the eighth or ninth lunar months he would meet picked household guards, palace attendants, and crack horsemen from Longxi and Beidi at the palace gates—hence the corps took the name Gate Rendezvous. He left only after the tenth night watch and passed himself off as the marquis of Pingyang. At daybreak he would gallop through the foothills shooting deer, boar, fox, and hare, grapple bears with his bare hands, and thunder across standing grain. Farmers howled abuse, banded together, and claimed to be the magistrates of Hu and Du. When a real magistrate came to call on the marquis, the escort wanted to whip him away. The magistrate exploded with rage. He sent runners to intervene; a few of the hunting party were held until he produced tokens of the imperial equipage, and only then were they allowed to go. He would ride out at night and return at dusk with five days' rations, then appear at audience in the Changle Palace—the emperor loved the sport. Word spread south of the capital that the emperor was often abroad in disguise, but the empress dowager still kept him from roaming too far. Reading the signs, the chancellor and censor ordered the right-flank commandant to patrol east of Changyang and the right metropolitan superintendent to draft peasants to line the emperor's routes. Later he had a dozen discreet lodges built south of Xuqu where he could change dress, rest, and sleep over at Changyang, Wuzuo, Beiyang, and Xuqu—his favorite haunts. Weary of the long rides and the havoc among the people, he sent Wuqiu Shouwang and two mathematicians on the waiting roster to survey every registered field from south of Acheng eastward (one toponym is missing in the text) to west of Yichun, tally acreage and price, and annex the tract as the Shanglin hunting park running to the Southern Mountains. He ordered the capital commandant and the metropolitan superintendents to list idle public land in their counties as compensation for the farmers of Hu and Du. Wuqiu Shouwang's report delighted the emperor. Dongfang Shuo, standing by, offered remonstrance:

臣聞謙遜靜愨，天表之應，應之以福；驕溢靡麗，天表之應，應之以異。今陛下累郎台，恐其不高也；弋獵之處，恐其不廣也。如天不為變，則三輔之地盡可以為苑，何必盩厔、鄠、杜乎！奢侈越制，天為之變，上林雖小，臣尚以為大也。

I have heard that humility and quiet reverence draw Heaven's favor and bring good fortune; while arrogance and wanton luxury draw Heaven's warning in strange portents. You raise tower upon tower, as though none were high enough; and you widen the hunting grounds as though no park were ever broad enough. If Heaven raised no omens against it, you could turn the entire capital region into a hunting park—why stop at Zhouzhi, Hu, and Du? Extravagance beyond the rites draws Heaven's rebuke; even the existing Shanglin seems to me already too vast.

夫南山，天下之阻也，南有江、淮，北有河、渭，其地從汧、隴以東，商、雒以西，厥壤肥饒。漢興，去三河之地，止霸、產以西，都涇、渭之南，此所謂天下陸海之地，秦之所以虜西戎兼山東者也。其山出玉石，金、銀、銅、鐵，豫章、檀、柘，異類之物，不可勝原，此百工所取給，萬民所卬足也。又有粳稻、梨、栗、桑、麻、竹箭之饒，土宜姜芋，水多蛙魚，貧者得以人給家足，無饑寒之憂。故□、鎬之間號為土膏，其賈畝一金。今規以為苑，絕陂池水澤之利，而取民膏腴之地，上乏國家之用，下奪農桑之業，棄成功，就敗事，損耗五穀，是其不可一也。且盛荊棘之林，而長養麋鹿，廣狐兔之苑，大虎狼之虛，又壞人塚墓，發人室廬，令幼弱懷土而思，耆老泣涕而悲，是其不可二也。斥而營之，垣而囿之，騎馳東西，車騖南北，又有深溝大渠，夫一日之樂不足以危無堤之輿，是其不可三也。故務苑囿之大，不恤農時，非所以強國富人也。

The Southern Mountains wall off the heart of the empire: the Yangzi and Huai lie to the south, the Yellow River and Wei to the north, and from the Long foothills east to the Shangluo uplands the soil is famously rich. Our dynasty abandoned the central plain, drew its capital west of the Ba and Chan rivers south of the Jing and Wei—the dry land sea that let Qin subdue the western tribes and conquer the east. Those hills yield jade, metals, and fine timber beyond counting—the industrial base of the workshops and the livelihood of the common people. There are rice, fruit, silk, hemp, and bamboo in plenty; ginger and taro thrive in the soil, frogs and fish teem in the streams, so even the poor can feed their families without fear of hunger or cold. Between Feng and Hao the earth is so prized that fields once fetched an ounce of gold per mu. (One character is missing in the text.) To ring it off as a park would dry up irrigation, seize the richest farms, drain the treasury above and destroy farming below—throwing away a sure thing for a folly. That is my first objection. You would turn farms into bramble patches for deer, foxes, and wolves, tear down tombs and homes, and send children and elders into exile weeping. That is my second objection. Deep ditches, racing chariots, and a day's sport are not worth imperiling the ruler's life and limb. That is my third objection. To chase ever larger parks while ignoring the farming calendar is no way to enrich state or people.

夫殷作九市之宮而諸侯畔，靈王起章華之台而楚民散，秦興阿房之殿而天下亂。糞土愚臣，忘生觸死，逆盛意，犯隆指，罪當萬死，不勝大願，願陳《泰階六符》，以觀天變，不可不省。

King Zhou of Yin built his pleasure tower and the lords turned against him; King Ling of Chu raised Zhanghua and his people fled; Qin built Epang and the empire fell apart. I am dust beneath your feet, yet I risk death to oppose your will. I deserve execution a thousand times over, but I beg to present the Six Talismans of the Grand Steps so you may read Heaven's warnings—they merit your attention.

是日因奏《泰階》之事，上乃拜朔為太中大夫給事中，賜黃金百斤。然遂起上林苑，如壽王所奏雲。

That day he lectured on the Grand Steps; the emperor named him Grand Counsellor with access to the inner palace and sent a hundred jin of gold. The Shanglin Park was built anyway, just as Wuqiu Shouwang had proposed.

久之，隆慮公主子昭平君尚帝女夷安公主，隆慮主病困，以金千斤、錢千萬為昭平君豫贖死罪，上許之。隆慮主卒，昭平君日驕，醉殺主傅，獄系內宮。以公主子，廷尉上請請論。左右人人為言：「前又入贖，陛下許之。」上曰：「吾弟老有是一子，死以屬我。」於是為之垂涕歎息良久，曰：「法令者，先帝所造也，用弟故而誣先帝之法，吾何面目入高廟乎！又下負萬民。」乃可其奏，哀不能自止，左右盡悲。朔前上壽，曰：「臣聞聖王為政，賞不避仇讎，誅不擇骨肉。《書》曰：『不偏不黨，王道蕩蕩。』此二者，五帝所重，三王所難也。陛下行之，是以四海之內元元之民各得其所，天下幸甚！臣朔奉觴，昧死再拜上萬歲壽。」上乃起，入省中，夕時召讓朔，曰：「傳曰『時然後言，人不厭其言』。今先生上壽，時乎？」朔免冠頓首曰：「臣聞樂太盛則陽溢，哀太盛則陰損，陰陽變則心氣動，心氣動則精神散，精神散而邪氣及。銷憂者莫若酒，臣朔所以上壽者，明陛下正而不阿，因以止哀也。愚不知忌諱，當死。」先是，朔嘗醉入殿中，小遺殿上，劾不敬。有詔免為庶人，待詔宦者署。因此對復為中郎，賜帛百匹。

Zhao Pingjun, son of the Princess of Longlü, married Princess Yi'an. On her deathbed his mother deposited a thousand pounds of gold and ten million cash to ransom any capital crime he might commit, and the emperor agreed. After her death Zhao Pingjun grew insolent, slew his tutor in a drunken rage, and was jailed in the inner palace. As a princess's son the case went to the commandant of justice for sentence. Every attendant pleaded, His mother paid the ransom in advance, and you granted it. The emperor said, My sister in her old age had only this son; with her dying breath she placed him in my care. He wept and sighed a long while, then said, Law is the legacy of the late emperor. To break it for my sister's sake—how could I face the ancestors in the High Temple? How could I face the people below? He approved the death sentence, wept uncontrollably, and the whole court wept with him. Dongfang Shuo stepped up with a toast: The sage king rewards even his foes and punishes even his kin. The Documents say, Without favor, without clique, the royal way runs straight and wide. Both precepts were honored by the Five Emperors and strained even the Three Kings. Your Majesty has done this: every commoner in the realm finds justice, and the empire is the better for it. I raise my cup and wish Your Majesty ten thousand years of life. The emperor withdrew, then at dusk called Dongfang Shuo in to scold him: The classic says, Speak only when the moment is right, and men will not weary of your words. Was your toast today timely? Dongfang Shuo kowtowed bareheaded: Extreme joy floods the yang ether; extreme grief drains the yin. When yin and yang reel, the heart loses its anchor, the spirit frays, and evil humors invade the body. Wine best drives care away. I raised a cup to show that Your Majesty holds straight to justice without favoritism, and to help you set grief aside. I spoke bluntly and deserve death. Earlier, drunk in the palace, he had relieved himself on the hall floor and was charged with lèse-majesté. An edict reduced him to commoner rank on the eunuchs' office waiting list. After this exchange he was restored as gentleman of the palace and given a hundred bolts of silk.

初，帝姑館陶公主號竇太主，堂邑侯陳午尚之。午死，主寡居，年五十餘矣，近幸董偃。始偃與母以賣珠為事，偃年十三，隨母出入主家。左右言其姣好，主召見，曰；「吾為母養之。」因留第中，教書計相馬御射，頗讀傳記。至年十八而冠，出則執轡，入則侍內。為人溫柔愛人，以主故，諸公接之，名稱城中，號曰董君。主因推令散財交士，令中府曰：「董君所發，一日金滿百斤，錢滿百萬，帛滿千匹，乃白之。」安陵爰叔者，爰盎兄子也，與偃善，謂偃曰：「足下私侍漢主，挾不測之罪，將欲安處乎？」偃懼曰：「憂之久矣，不知所以。」爰叔曰：「顧城廟遠無宿宮，又有萩竹籍田，足下何不白主獻長門園？此上所欲也。如是，上知計出於足下也，則安枕而臥，長無慘怛之憂。久之不然，上且請之，於足下何如？」偃頓首曰：「敬奉教。」入言之主，主立奏書獻之。上大說，更名竇大主園為長門宮。主大喜，使偃以黃金百斤為爰叔壽。

The emperor's aunt, the Princess of Guantao—known as the Elder Princess Dou—had married Chen Wu, the marquis of Tangyi. When Chen Wu died she was past fifty, a widow who took Dong Yan as her lover. Dong Yan and his mother had sold pearls for a living; at thirteen he began following his mother to the princess's mansion. Her attendants praised the boy's looks; she called him in and said, I will adopt him and raise him for his mother. She kept him in her household, taught him reckoning, horsemanship, and archery, and had him read histories and tales. At his capping at eighteen he led her carriage abroad and attended her within. Courteous and affable, he was received by the nobility for the princess's sake and was known through the capital as Lord Dong. She urged him to spend freely and win friends, telling the treasury not to bother her unless he drew more than a hundred jin of gold, a million cash, or a thousand bolts of silk in a single day. Yuanshu of Anling, Yuan Ang's nephew and Dong Yan's friend, warned him, You are the princess's secret favorite—a capital offense. What is your long-term plan? Dong Yan said, I have worried for ages but see no way out. Yuanshu said, The emperor lacks a lodge near the suburban altars and must cross the imperial field. Why not have her deed the Changmen park to the throne? That is exactly what he wants. He will know the gift was your idea, sleep without fear, and cease to brood on silencing you. Delay, and the emperor may take it by force—what then for you? Dong Yan kowtowed and said, I shall do as you say. He told the princess; she memorialized the offer at once. The emperor was delighted and renamed her estate the Changmen Palace. Overjoyed, she sent Dong Yan with a hundred jin of gold to thank Yuanshu.

叔因是為董君畫求見上之策，令主稱疾不朝。上往臨疾，問所欲，主辭謝曰：「妾幸蒙陛下厚恩，先帝遺德，奉朝請之禮，備臣妾之儀，列為公主，賞賜邑入，隆天重地，死無以塞責。一日卒有不勝灑掃之職，先狗馬填溝壑，竊有所恨，不勝大願，願陛下時忘萬事，養精游神，從中掖庭回輿，枉路臨妾山林，得獻觴上壽，娛樂左右。如是而死，何恨之有！」上曰：「主何憂？幸得愈。恐群臣從官多，大為主費。」上還，有頃，主疾愈，起謁，上以錢千萬從主飲。後數日，上臨山林，主自執宰敝膝，道入登階就坐。坐未定，上曰：「願謁主人翁。」主乃下殿，去簪珥，徒跣頓首謝曰：「妾無狀，負陛下，身當伏誅。陛下不致之法，頓首死罪。」有詔謝。主簪履起，之東廂自引董君。董君綠幘傅□，隨主前，伏殿下。主乃讚：「館陶公主胞人臣偃昧死再拜謁。」因叩頭謝，上為之起。有詔賜衣冠上。偃起，走就衣冠。主自奉食進觴。當是時，董君見尊不名，稱為「主人翁」，飲大歡樂。主乃請賜將軍、列侯、從官金錢雜繒各有數。於是董君貴寵，天下莫不聞。郡國狗馬蹴鞠劍客輻湊董氏。常從遊戲北宮，馳逐平樂，觀雞鞠之會，角狗馬之足，上大歡樂之。於是上為竇太主置酒宣室，使謁者引內董君。

Yuanshu then arranged Dong Yan's introduction: the princess was to feign illness and skip court. When the emperor called, she said, I owe Your Majesty and the late emperor more than heaven and earth could repay; though I serve as a princess I cannot discharge my debt even in death. If I should die before repaying you, one wish would remain: that you set the state aside awhile, refresh your spirit, turn your carriage from the palace, and deign to visit my poor villa so I may pour wine for you and cheer your attendants. Then I could die content. The emperor said, Why such gloom? You will recover. I only fear a full train of officials would burden you with expense. Soon she recovered and attended court; the emperor brought ten million cash to drink with her. Days later he visited her estate; she met him in a cook's apron like a common hostess, led him in, and seated him. Before they had settled, he said, I would meet the man of the house. She slipped from the dais, stripped her ornaments, and kowtowed barefoot: I have shamed you and deserve death. Yet you have not held me to the law—I kowtow for my capital crime. An edict bade her rise. She dressed again, went to the east wing, and led Dong Yan out. Dong Yan wore the green turban of a servant and jeweled sleeves; he followed her forward and knelt below the steps. She announced, Your servant Dong Yan, private attendant of the Princess of Guantao, kowtows in fear of death. Dong Yan kowtowed; the emperor rose for him. An edict summoned him to don proper cap and robes. Dong Yan rose and went to change. The princess herself poured his wine and served the meal. Dong Yan was toasted as master of the house rather than by name, and the banquet grew merry. She asked the emperor to reward every general, marquis, and attendant with gold, cash, and silk. Dong Yan's favor became famous throughout the empire. Adventurers, athletes, and swordsmen from every commandery flocked to his gate. He often joined the emperor at the Northern Palace and Pingle Park for cockfights, dog races, and polo until the sovereign was wild with delight. Then the emperor prepared a banquet in the Xuanshi Hall for the Elder Princess and ordered Dong Yan brought in.

是時，朔陛戟殿下，辟戟而前曰：「董偃有斬罪三，安得入乎？」上曰：「何謂也？」朔曰：「偃以人臣私侍公主，其罪一也。敗男女之化，而亂婚姻之禮，傷王制，其罪二也。」陛下富於春秋，方積思於《六經》，留神於王事，馳騖於唐、虞，折節於三代，偃不遵經勸學，反以靡麗為右，奢侈為務，盡狗馬之樂，極耳目之欲，行邪枉之道，逕淫辟之路，是乃國家之大賊，人主之大蜮。偃為淫首，其罪三也。昔伯姬燔而諸侯憚，奈何乎陛下？」上默然不應良久，曰：「吾業以設飲，後而自改。」朔曰：「不可。夫宣室者，先帝之正處也，非法度之政不得入焉。故淫亂之漸，其變為篡，是以豎貂為淫而易牙作患，慶父死而魯國全，管、蔡誅而周室安。」上曰：「善。」有詔止，更置酒北宮，引董君從東司馬門。東司馬門更名東交門。賜朔黃金三十斤。董君之寵由是日衰，至年三十而終。後數歲，竇太主卒，與董君會葬於霸陵。是後，公主貴人多逾禮制，自董偃始。

Dongfang Shuo, halberd in hand below the steps, thrust forward and said, Dong Yan deserves execution three times over—how dare he enter this hall? The emperor asked what he meant. First, as a subject he has privately bedded a princess. Second, he corrupts moral teaching, violates marriage rites, and wounds the kingly institutions. Your Majesty is young and should steep yourself in the Six Classics and the models of Yao, Shun, and the Three Dynasties; instead Dong Yan spurns learning, exalts luxury, fills your days with dogs, horses, and sensual delight, and leads you down depraved paths—he is a public scourge and a parasite on the throne. Third, he is the ringleader of this vice. When Lady Bo of Song chose to die in the fire, the lords of the land trembled—will Your Majesty do less? The emperor was silent a long while, then said, The banquet is laid; I will mend my ways hereafter. Dongfang Shuo said, You must not. Xuanshi was the late emperor's formal hall—only lawful business may enter it. Licentiousness slides into usurpation—think of Shu Diao and Yi Ya in Qi, Qingfu in Lu, the rebels Guan and Cai in Zhou. The emperor said, Well said. He canceled the Xuanshi feast, moved the party to the Northern Palace, and had Dong Yan enter by the east stable gate. That gate was renamed the East Crossing Gate. Dongfang Shuo received thirty jin of gold. Dong Yan's star fell from that day; he died at thirty. Years later the Elder Princess died and was buried with Dong Yan at Baling. Afterward princesses and great ladies routinely overstepped ritual bounds—Dong Yan had shown the way.

時，天下侈靡趨末，百姓多離農畝。上從容問朔：「吾欲化民，豈有道乎？」朔對曰：「堯、舜、禹、湯、文、武、成、康上古之事，經歷數千載，尚難言也，臣不敢陳。願近述孝文皇帝之時，當世耆老皆聞見之。貴為天子，富有四海，身衣弋綈，足履革舄，以韋帶劍，莞蒲為席，兵木無刃，衣縕無文，集上書囊以為殿帷；以道德為麗，以仁義為準。於是天下望風成俗，昭然化之。今陛下以城中為小，圖起建章，左鳳闕，右神明，號稱千門萬戶；木土衣綺繡，狗馬被繢罽；宮人簪玳瑁，垂珠璣；設戲車，教馳逐，飾文采，叢珍怪；撞萬石之鐘，擊雷霆之鼓，作俳優，舞鄭女。上為淫侈如此，而欲使民獨不奢侈失農，事之難者也。陛下誠能用臣朔之計，推甲乙之帳燔之於四通之衢，卻走馬示不復用，則堯、舜之隆宜可與比治矣。《易》曰：『正其本，萬事理；失之毫釐，差以千里。』願陛下留意察之。」

In those days the realm had turned to luxury and to chasing profit over farming, and many common folk had drifted away from the plow. The emperor asked Shuo in a relaxed tone, "I want to improve the people's ways. Is there a right path to that?" Shuo answered, "The deeds of Yao, Shun, Yu, Tang, Wen, Wu, Cheng, and Kang lie so far back in time that even after millennia they are hard to discuss clearly; I would not presume to rehearse them here." Instead I would speak of the reign of Emperor Xiaowen, which the old men still living today actually heard and saw for themselves. Though he was exalted as Son of Heaven and possessed wealth as vast as the four seas, he dressed in plain black silk, wore simple leather shoes, girded his sword with a leather strap, sat on mats of rushes, kept wooden practice weapons without edges, wore undyed clothes without ornament, and strung together official document bags to hang as curtains in his hall; He made moral power his finery and benevolence and righteousness his measure. The whole realm took its cue from him, customs took shape, and the transformation was plain for all to see. Today Your Majesty finds the capital too cramped and plans to build Jianzhang Palace: Phoenix Tower to the east, the Hall of Divine Brightness to the west, advertised as a labyrinth of a thousand gates and ten thousand doors; Timber and plaster are swathed in brocade; hounds and horses wear patterned rugs and tapestries; Palace ladies wear tortoiseshell hairpins and strings of lustrous pearls; Trick chariots are staged, people are trained for reckless races, everything glitters with ornament, and wonders are piled everywhere; Ten-thousand-stone bells are struck, drums roll like thunder, jesters caper, and dancers from Zheng whirl on the stage. When the ruler indulges in such excess, expecting the common people alone to stay frugal and keep to the fields is asking for the impossible. If Your Majesty would truly adopt my plan — haul those ranked curtains into the open crossroads and burn them, retire the racehorses and show the realm they will not be raced again — then Your government might stand comparison with the golden ages of Yao and Shun. The Book of Changes says, "Straighten the root and the myriad affairs fall into line; miss by a hair's breadth, and you are a thousand miles astray." I ask Your Majesty to weigh these words carefully."

朔雖詼笑，然時觀察顏色，直言切諫，上常用之。自公卿在位，朔皆敖弄，無所為屈。

Shuo might banter and joke, but he read the emperor's mood and spoke bluntly when remonstrance was needed; the ruler often took his advice. From the highest ministers on down, he teased and needled everyone in power and never humbled himself before them.

上以朔口諧辭給，好作問之。嘗問朔曰：「先生視朕何如主也？」朔對曰：「自唐、虞之隆，成、康之際，未足以諭當世。臣伏觀陛下功德，陳五帝之上，在三王之右。非若此而已，誠得天下賢士，公卿在位咸得其人矣。譬若以周、邵為丞相，孔丘為御史大夫，太公為將軍，畢公高拾遺於後，弁嚴子為衛尉，皋陶為大理，後稷為司農，伊尹為少府，子贛使外國，顏、閔為博士，子夏為太常，益為右扶風，季路為執金吾，契為鴻臚，龍逢為宗正，伯夷為京兆，管仲為馮翊，魯般為將作，仲山甫為光祿，申伯為太僕，延陵季子為水衡，百里奚為典屬國，柳下惠為大長秋，史魚為司直，蘧伯玉為太傅，孔父為詹事，孫叔敖為諸侯相，子產為郡守，王慶忌為期門，夏育為鼎官，羿為旄頭，宋萬為式道侯。」上乃大笑。

The emperor enjoyed quizzing him, for Shuo had a nimble tongue and a ready wit. On one occasion he asked, "Sir, what kind of sovereign do you take me to be?" Shuo answered, "Not even the heights of Yao and Shun's age, nor the peace of King Cheng and King Kang, gives us a fair yardstick for today." From what I have seen, Your Majesty's merit and virtue rise above the Five Thearchs and outshine the Three Kings. And it is not mere rhetoric: the realm's finest minds truly serve you, and every high office is filled by the right person. It is as though the Duke of Zhou and the Duke of Shao were your chancellors, Confucius your chief censor, the Grand Duke your commander-in-chief, the Duke of Bi your remonstrating counselor at court, Bian Yanzi your captain of the guard, Gao Yao your chief judge, Hou Ji your minister of agriculture, Yi Yin your steward of the palace treasury, Zigong your envoy abroad, Yan Hui and Min Ziqian your court scholars, Zixia your master of rites, Yi your western capital intendant, Zhong You your chief of police, Xie your master of ceremonies for guests, Long Feng your keeper of the imperial genealogy, Boyi your governor of the capital region, Guan Zhong your northern intendant, Lu Ban your chief engineer, Zhong Shanfu your chamberlain for the palace, the Earl of Shen your master of the horse, Prince Jizi of Yanling your keeper of the parks and pools, Baili Xi your commissioner over dependent peoples, Liuxia Hui your chief eunuch, Shi Yu your censor of conduct, Qu Boyu your grand tutor, Kong Fu your tutor to the heir, Sunshu Ao your chief minister to the feudal lords, Zichan your prefect, Wang Qingji your palace gate captain, Xia Yu your ritual cauldron officer, Yi your spearhead guard, and Song Wan your road-clearing escort commander." The emperor burst out laughing.

是時，朝廷多賢材，上復問朔：「方今公孫丞相，□大夫、董仲舒、夏侯始昌、司馬相如、吾丘壽王、主父偃、硃買臣、嚴助、汲黯、膠倉、終軍、嚴安、徐樂、司馬遷之倫，皆辯知閎達，溢於文辭，先生自視，何與比哉？」朔對曰：「臣觀其□齒牙，樹頰胲，吐脣吻，擢項頤，結股腳，連脽尻，遺蛇其跡，行步偊旅，臣朔雖不肖，尚兼此數子者。」朔之進對澹辭，皆此類也。」

The court at that time teemed with talent, and the emperor pressed Shuo again: "Consider Chancellor Gongsun, the Imperial Counselor (name missing in text), Dong Zhongshu, Xiahou Shichang, Sima Xiangru, Wuqiu Shouwang, Zhufu Yan, Zhu Maichen, Yan Zhu, Ji Yan, Jiao Cang, Zhong Jun, Yan An, Xu Le, Sima Qian, and men of that stamp — all of them learned, articulate, and copious on the page. How do you measure yourself against such company?" Shuo answered, "What I see in them is (lacuna) bared teeth and gums, cheeks swollen like bellows, lips forever flapping, necks craning and chins wagging, legs tangled like knotted cord, rumps welded to haunches, footprints that zigzag like a snake's trail, and a shambling, knock-kneed walk. Unworthy as I am, I flatter myself that I already embody every one of those fine qualities." When Shuo stepped forward to answer, his mild, understated words were always in this vein."

武帝既招英俊，程其器能，用之如不及。時方外事胡、越，內興制度，國家多事，自公孫弘以下至司馬遷，皆奉使方外，或為郡國守相至公卿，而朔嘗至太中大夫，後常為郎，與枚皋、郭舍人俱在左右，詼啁而已。久之，朔上書陳農戰強國之計，因自訟獨不得大官，欲求試用。其言專商鞅、韓非之語也，指意放蕩，頗復詼諧，辭數萬言，終不見用。朔因著論，設客難己，用位卑以自慰諭。其辭曰：

Emperor Wu had called the best minds to court, weighed what each could do, and put them to work as if he feared he might never hire fast enough. While the empire was busy with the Xiongnu and the Yue on the frontier and with new institutions at home, everyone from Gongsun Hong down to Sima Qian was dispatched abroad or made a regional governor or rose to the highest offices. Shuo had briefly reached grand counselor of the palace, but he usually held only the modest rank of gentleman-attendant and, with Mei Gao and Guo Sheren, hovered at the ruler's elbow cracking jokes. In time he memorialized with schemes for agriculture, war, and national strength, lamenting that he alone had never been given a weighty post and asking to be tried in a serious role. The piece was pure Shang Yang and Han Fei in tone, loose in structure and laced with humor; it ran to many thousands of characters and was never adopted. So he wrote a philosophical dialogue, inventing a guest who rebuked him, to console himself for his low rank. The text begins:

客難東方朔曰：「蘇秦、張儀一當萬乘之主，而都卿相之位，澤及後世。今子大夫修先王之術，慕聖人之義，諷誦《詩》、《書》、百家之言，不可勝數，著於竹帛，脣腐齒落，服膺而不釋，好學樂道之效，明白甚矣；自以智能海內無雙，則可謂博聞辯智矣。然悉力盡忠以事聖帝，曠日持久，官不過侍郎，位不過執戟，意者尚有遺行邪？同胞之徒無所容居，其故何也？」

The guest reproached Dongfang Shuo: "Su Qin and Zhang Yi each won an audience with a great king and walked away as chief minister; their good fortune lasted for generations. You, sir, have steeped yourself in the ways of the ancient kings and the teachings of the sages; you have memorized the Odes, the Documents, and more of the masters than anyone can count, and committed it all to writing; you have worn your lips thin and your teeth out clutching those texts to your heart. Your devotion to learning is obvious to everyone; you believe your wit unmatched under heaven — no one would deny you are learned and clever. Yet though you have given the sage emperor your utmost loyalty year after year, your title has never risen above attendant-in-waiting and your duties never beyond holding the halberd at court. Are you hiding some moral flaw? Even your own kindred can barely house themselves. How do you explain that?"

東方先生喟然長息，仰而應之曰：「是固非子之所能備也。彼一時也，此一時也，豈可同哉？夫蘇秦、張儀之時，周室大壞，諸侯不朝，力政爭權，相禽以兵，並為十二國，未有雌雄，得士者強，失士者亡，故談說行焉。身處尊位，珍寶充內，外有廩倉，澤及後世，子孫長享。今則不然。聖帝流德，天下震懾，諸侯賓服，連四海之外以為帶，安於覆盂，動猶運之掌，賢不肖何以異哉？遵天之道，順地之理，物無不得其所；故綏之則安，動之則苦；尊之則為將，卑之則為虜；抗之則在青雲之上，抑之則在深泉之下；用之則為虎，不用則為鼠；雖欲盡節效情，安知前後？夫天地之大，士民之眾，竭精談說，並進輻湊者不可勝數，悉力募之，困於衣食，或失門戶。使蘇秦、張儀與僕並生於今之世，曾不得掌故，安敢望常侍郎乎？故曰時異事異。

Master Dongfang drew a long breath, lifted his eyes, and said, "That is something you simply are not in a position to understand. Their age was one world; ours is another. How can you equate them? In Su Qin and Zhang Yi's day the house of Zhou was crumbling, the lords ignored the king, might made right, and rival armies carved the realm into a dozen warring states with no clear winner. Strength went to whoever won the talent; ruin to whoever lost it. Of course wandering persuaders flourished. A successful strategist sat in high office, vaults groaning with treasure, granaries overflowing, and left a legacy his descendants lived on for generations. Today nothing of the sort applies. Our sage emperor's virtue overawes the realm; the lords come as guests; the four seas beyond the borders hang from his belt like a sash; the empire sits as steady as an upturned bowl; he moves it as easily as spinning something in his palm. In such a world, what separates the worthy from the worthless? Heaven has its constant course, earth its proper order, and every creature finds its allotted place; soothe the people and they rest; harry them and they groan; honor a man and he becomes a general; break him and he is a prisoner; lift him and he rides the clouds; cast him down and he sinks into the abyss; use him and he is a tiger; ignore him and he is a mouse; even if you mean to give your whole heart to the throne, who can tell whether you will rise or fall? The world is vast, the educated class huge; countless men crowd the capital peddling advice like spokes to a hub. The ruler can summon them all, yet many still starve for want of a meal or never find a patron. If Su Qin and Zhang Yi were reborn today, they would be lucky to land a clerk's job, let alone a regular attendant-in-waiting like me. So the saying goes: different times, different rules."

「雖然，安可以不務修身乎哉！《詩》云：『鼓鐘於宮，聲聞於外。』『鶴鳴於九皋，聲聞於天。』苟能修身，何患不榮！太公體行仁義，七十有二乃設用於文、武，得信厥說，封於齊，七百歲而不絕。此士所以日夜孳孳，敏行而不敢怠也。辟若鶺鴒，飛且鳴矣。傳曰：『天不為人之惡寒而輟其冬，地不為人之惡險而輟其廣，君子不為小人之匈匈而易其行。』『天有常度，地有常形，君子有常行；君子道其常，小人計其功。』《詩》云：『禮義之不愆，何恤人之言？』故曰：『水至清則無魚，人至察則無徒。冕而前旒，所以蔽明；黈纊充耳，所以塞聰。』明有所不見，聰有所不聞，舉大德，赦小過，無求備於一人之義也。枉而直之，使自得之；優而柔之，使自求之；揆而度之，使自索之。蓋聖人教化如此，欲自得之；自得之，則敏且廣矣。

"Even so," he went on, "can anyone afford to neglect self-cultivation? The Odes says, "Beat the drum and ring the bell inside the hall, and the sound carries beyond the walls." "The crane cries from the distant marsh, yet Heaven hears it." Cultivate yourself earnestly, and honor will follow — why doubt it? The Grand Duke lived out benevolence and righteousness; not until he was seventy-two did Kings Wen and Wu put his counsel to use. They believed him, enfeoffed him in Qi, and his line lasted seven hundred years. That is why a gentleman toils day and night and never dares slacken his step. Think of the wagtail on the wing, calling as it flies." The tradition runs, "Heaven does not cancel winter because men hate the cold; earth does not shrink its breadth because men fear the heights; the gentleman does not change his course because petty people shout him down." "Heaven keeps its seasons, earth its contours, the gentleman his steady practice; the gentleman cleaves to what endures; the small man chases every advantage." The Odes adds, "If you never stray from ritual and right, why fear gossip?" Hence the proverb: fish cannot live in water that is too clear; a man who picks at every fault will have no friends. The king's crown hangs beaded curtains before his eyes to dim the glare; Yellow silk plugs his ears to muffle sharp sounds." Even clear sight misses something; even sharp hearing fails somewhere. Reward great virtue, overlook petty slips — that is what it means not to demand perfection of any one man. Set crooked timber straight, but let the tree find its own grain; Coax and soften it, but let it seek its own shape; measure and weigh it, but let the truth declare itself. The sage teaches in just this way because he wants people to discover the lesson for themselves; and what they learn for themselves is quick to take root and broad in reach."

「今世之處士，魁然無徒，廓然獨居，上觀許由，下察接輿，計同范蠡，忠合子胥，天下和平，與義相扶，寡耦少徒，固其宜也，子何疑於我哉？若夫燕之用樂毅，秦之任李斯，酈食其之下齊，說行如流，曲從如環，所欲必得，功若丘山，海內定，國家安，是遇其時也，子又何怪之邪？語曰『以管窺天，以蠡測海，以莛撞鐘』，豈能通其條貫，考其文理，發其音聲哉！繇是觀之，譬猶鼱鼩之襲狗，孤豚之咋虎，至則靡耳，何功之有？今以下愚而非處士，雖欲勿困，固不得已，此適足以明其不知權變而終或於大道也。」

"Today's hermits stand aloof like giants without a retinue, scan the past for Xu You and Jie Yu, compare their schemes to Fan Li and their loyalty to Wu Zixu, yet live in a tranquil age where righteousness needs no loud champion. Of course they walk alone with few companions. Why should you find that strange in me? When Yan used Yue Yi, when Qin trusted Li Si, when Li Yiji talked Qi into surrender, advice flowed like water and rulers bent like rings on a chain; every wish was granted, achievements piled up like mountains, and the realm knew peace. Those men simply met their moment. What is odd about that? There is an old line about judging the sky through a bamboo tube, the ocean with a ladling cup, or a bell with a beanstalk — how could you hope to trace its structure, read its grain, or hear its true voice? By that measure, you might as well send a shrew to ambush a hound or a lone piglet to nip a tiger: the moment they meet, they are pulp. What feat is that? To assail a recluse with such bottom-tier folly is to invite entanglement you cannot escape; it only proves you grasp neither circumstance nor timing and end utterly bewildered concerning the great Way."

又設非有先生之論，其辭曰：

He also composed the dialogue of "Mr. Never-Was," which begins:

非有先生仕於吳，進不稱往古以厲主意，退不能揚君美以顯其功，默然無言者三年矣。吳王怪而問之，曰：「寡人獲先人之功，寄於眾賢之上，夙興夜寐，未嘗敢怠也。今先生率然高舉，遠集吳地，將以輔治寡人，誠竊嘉之，體不安席，食不甘味，目不視靡曼之色，耳不聽鐘鼓之音，虛心定志欲聞流議者三年於茲矣。今先生進無以輔治，退不揚主譽，竊不為先生取之也。蓋懷能而不見，是不忠也；見而不行，主不明也。意者寡人殆不明乎？」非有先生伏而唯唯。吳王曰：「可以談矣，寡人將竦意而覽焉。」先生曰：「於戲！可乎哉？可乎哉？談何容易！夫談有悖於目、拂於耳、謬於心而便於身者；或有說於目、順於耳、快於心而毀於行者。非有明王聖主，孰能聽之？」吳王曰：「何為其然也？『中人已上可以語上也。』先生試言，寡人將聽焉。」

Mr. Never-Was had taken office in Wu. For three years he had not advanced a single precedent to sharpen the king's judgment, nor stepped back to praise his lord and burnish his own service. He had simply held his tongue. The king of Wu, puzzled, demanded an explanation: "I inherited my ancestors' achievement and rule over a host of worthy men. I rise before dawn and retire late; I have never dared slacken. You, sir, came from afar to settle in Wu and promised to help me govern; I welcomed you with all my heart. For three years I have tossed on my mat, found my food tasteless, shut my eyes to silks and dancers, silenced music in my halls, and steadied my mind, longing to hear whatever counsel you would pour forth. Yet you bring no counsel forward and no praise backward. I cannot approve of that, sir. To hoard talent and hide it is disloyalty; to display it and see no response marks an obtuse ruler. Tell me plainly — is the fault mine?" Mr. Never-Was bowed low and muttered assent. The king said, "You may speak. I am listening with full attention." The gentleman cried, "Alas! Can it be done? Can it truly be done? Easy talk is the hardest thing in the world! Some counsel offends the eye, grates on the ear, and wounds pride even as it saves the listener; other words delight the senses and flatter the mind yet ruin a man in the doing. Without an enlightened sovereign, who could bear to hear the first sort?" The king asked, "Why should that be? They say anyone above middling intelligence can discuss the highest matters." Speak, sir. I am ready to listen."

先生對曰：「昔者關龍逢深諫於桀，而王子比干直言於紂，此二臣者，皆極慮盡忠，閔王澤不下流，而萬民騷動，故直言其失，切諫其邪者，將以為君之榮，除主之禍也。今則不然，反以為誹謗君之行，無人臣之禮，果紛然傷於身，蒙不辜之名，戮及先人，為天下笑，故曰談何容易！是以輔弼之臣瓦解，而邪諂之人並進，遂及蜚廉、惡來革等，二人皆詐偽，巧言利口以進其身，陰奉雕□刻鏤之好以納其心。務快耳目之欲，以苟容為度。遂往不戒，身沒被戮，宗廟崩弛，國家為虛，放戮聖賢，親近讒夫。《詩》不雲乎？『讒人罔極，交亂四國』，此之謂也。故卑身賤體，說色微辭，愉愉呴呴，終無益於主上之治，則志士仁人不忍為也。將儼然作矜嚴之色，深言直諫，上以拂主之邪，下以損百姓之害，則忤於邪主之心，歷於衰世之法。故養壽命之士莫肯進也，遂居深山之間，積土為室，編蓬為戶，彈琴其中，以詠先王之風，亦可以樂而忘死矣。是以伯夷、叔齊避周，餓於首陽之下，後世稱其仁。如是，邪主之行固足畏也，故曰談何容易！」

Mr. Feiyou answered: Long ago Guan Longpeng remonstrated fearlessly with Jie and Bigan spoke blunt truth to Zhou. Both gave their utmost loyalty, grieving that royal kindness never reached the people while the masses writhed in disorder. They named the ruler's faults and attacked his vices in order to bring him honor and spare him calamity. Today the opposite happens: straight speech is called slander and treated as breach of fealty. The speaker is broken on the wheel, smeared with false guilt, his ancestors disgraced, and the world mocks his corpse—so the proverb says, Easier said than done. Pillars of state shattered while sycophants swarmed the court—men like Feilian and E Lai, glib frauds who clawed upward with slick tongues and smuggled in every kind of carved luxury to poison the king's mind. They chased whatever pleased eye and ear and called groveling good enough for government. No warning checked their course: they died under the axe, the altars fell, the kingdom hollowed out, good men were driven off or killed, and whispering villains took their seats. Did not the Odes say it? Slanderers know no limit; they set the four quarters ablaze—that is the verse I mean. To cringe, flatter, and simper may win a smile but never mends a realm—no man of true resolve will stoop to that. Yet don a stern face, speak hard truth to scrape evil from the throne and ease the people's hurt, and you will prick a vicious ruler's pride and collide with the law of a dying age. So men who prize their lives refuse office altogether. They heap a hut in the hills, weave a gate of brush, strum a zither, and hymn the old kings until joy makes them forget mortality. Boyi and Shuqi fled the Zhou and starved on Shouyang; later ages honor their humanity. A depraved sovereign is terror enough—again, easier said than done.

於是吳王懼然易容，捐薦去幾，危坐而聽。先生曰：「接輿避世，箕子被髮陽狂，此二人者，皆避濁世以全其身者也。使遇明王聖主，得清燕之閒，寬和之色，發憤畢誠，圖畫安危，揆度得失，上以安主體，下以便萬民，則五帝、三王之道可幾而見也。故伊尹蒙恥辱、負鼎俎、和五味以干湯，太公釣於渭之陽以見文王。心合意同，謀無不成，計無不從，誠得其君也。深念遠慮，引義以正其身，推恩以廣其下，本仁祖義，褒有德，祿賢能，誅惡亂，總遠方，一統類，美風俗，此帝王所由昌也。上不變天性，下不奪人倫，則天地和洽，遠方懷之，故號聖王。臣子之職既加矣，於是裂地定封，爵為公侯，傳國子孫，名顯後世，民到於今稱之，以遇湯與文王也。太公、伊尹以如此，龍逢、比干獨如彼，豈不哀哉！故曰談何容易！」

The king of Wu blanched, pushed away his cushion and side table, straightened his back, and listened. The master said, Jieyu fled the world and Jizi matted his hair and played the madman—both escaped a foul age to save their skins. Had they found an enlightened sovereign, leisure, and an open face, they could have poured out loyal counsel, weighed every peril and profit, steadied the throne above and eased the people below—the way of the Five Emperors and Three Kings would almost have stood within reach. That is why Yi Yin swallowed humiliation, shouldered the kitchen cauldron, and seasoned five flavors to win Tang's ear, and the Grand Duke angled on the north bank of the Wei until King Wen found him. When heart matches heart, every plan succeeds and every counsel is heeded—they had found the right lord. Deep counsel, moral self-rule, spreading kindness below, honoring humanity and duty, rewarding the good, paying the worthy, crushing the wicked, binding far lands in one fabric, and polishing custom—this is how true kings grow great. They did not twist Heaven's pattern nor break human ties; Heaven and Earth chimed in tune and distant peoples came willingly—hence they are called sage-kings. Once their service was complete, they received fiefs, noble rank, and lines that still shine in history—the people praise them yet because they met Tang and King Wen. The Grand Duke and Yi Yin won such ends; Longpeng and Bigan the other—is that not tragedy? So again: easier said than done.

於是吳王穆然，俯而深惟，仰而泣下交頤，曰：「嗟乎！余國之不亡也，綿綿連連，殆哉，世之不絕也！」於是正明堂之朝，齊君臣之位，舉賢材，布德惠，施仁義，賞有功；躬節儉，減後宮之費，損車馬之用；放鄭聲，遠佞人，省庖廚，去侈靡；卑宮館，壞苑囿，填池塹，以予貧民無產業者；開內藏，振貧窮，存耆老，恤孤獨；薄賦斂，省刑辟。行此三年，海內晏然，天下大洽，陰陽和調，萬物咸得其宜；國無災害之變，民無饑寒之色，家給人民，畜積有餘，囹圄空虛；鳳凰來集，麒麟在郊，甘露既降，硃草萌牙；遠方異俗之人鄉風慕義，各奉其職而來朝賀。故治亂之道，存亡之端，若此易見，而君人者莫肯為也，臣愚竊以為過。故《詩》云：「王國克生，惟周之楨，濟濟多士，文王以寧。」此之謂也。

The king of Wu sat silent, brooding, then lifted a face wet with tears and cried, Alas! That Wu still stands, generation after fragile generation, is peril itself—that our line is not yet extinct! He then set the Bright Hall court in order, ranked high and low, promoted talent, spread kindness, practiced humanity and duty, and rewarded merit; he lived plainly, cut harem expense, and thinned the royal stables; he banned the lewd airs of Zheng, drove sycophants off, shrank the kitchens, and shed excess; he lowered palace roofs, tore down hunting parks, filled ponds and ditches, and gave the land to the landless poor; he opened the vaults to aid the destitute, sheltered the aged, and cared for widows and orphans; he lightened taxes and eased the penal code. Three years of such rule brought quiet to the seas, harmony to the realm, balanced yin and yang, and every creature its proper place; no calamity struck the state, no face showed famine, every home had enough and granaries overflowed, and the jails stood empty; phoenixes alighted, unicorns roamed the suburbs, sweet dew fell, and crimson auspicious grass sprouted; barbarians from afar caught the breeze of his virtue, took office, and came to offer tribute. The line between order and ruin is plain as this, yet no ruler will walk it—your servant counts that a grave mistake. The Odes say, In the royal domain they are born—the timbers of Zhou; rank on rank of officers—that was how King Wen kept the peace. That is the sense of it.

朔之文辭，此二篇最善。其餘《封泰山》、《責和氏璧》及《皇太子生禖》、《屏風》、《殿上柏柱》、《平樂觀賦獵》，八言、七言上下，《從公孫弘借車》，凡劉向所錄朔書具是矣。世所傳他事皆非也。

Of Dongfang Shuo's writings, these two essays are the finest. The remainder—his pieces on the Feng sacrifice at Mount Tai, the rebuke to the He-family jade, the birth prayer for the crown prince, the screen, the hall cypress pillars, the Pingle hunt rhapsody, suites of eight- and seven-syllable lines, and the skit on borrowing a carriage from Gongsun Hong—comprise everything Liu Xiang catalogued under Dongfang Shuo's name. The other anecdotes told of him in later times are untrue.

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